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Main Discussion

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Misshoolie
Posted - 16 March 2017 21:06
"I've just had a boob job"

Yours is the second line
funkymonkeyesq
Posted - 16 March 2017 21:11
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"Hi - I'm Cru. How are you?"
Cru de Ville
Posted - 16 March 2017 21:11
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Ha ha!

Missh - I was thinking I might wait a little too drop that in to the conversation...

Seriously though - why is "hello, how are you?" so apparently unsatisfactory?
Sergio Bogface
Posted - 16 March 2017 21:13
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A picture paints a thousand words....

minkie
Posted - 16 March 2017 21:14
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" my best friends call me Cruella de Ville"
Misshoolie
Posted - 16 March 2017 21:15
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There's nothing wrong with hello how are you. Overly polished opening banter is just so fake and obvs rehearsed. V off putting
Cru de Ville
Posted - 16 March 2017 21:16
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funky - how the devil are you!

You'd think that would do the trick, wouldn't you, but apparently, that is dating app death. Go figure.
Osama
Posted - 16 March 2017 21:16
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Whatever you do don't be yourself
Misshoolie
Posted - 16 March 2017 21:18
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It sounds awful. I'm never going on one again
Cru de Ville
Posted - 16 March 2017 21:22
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Missh - I agree re the "banter", certainly has never worked on me.

Os, I can see why that strategy would present a problem for you, but I reckon I'll be okay...

Right, looks like, "hello, how are you" it is! (Although I like the poem, but I think it might be a smidge confusing).
The Darce
Posted - 16 March 2017 21:23
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"What a nice surprise - there hadn't been a lot of talent on here recently [i'm xxxx insert name/fake name]"

Or does that sounds like youre always online looking for cock (depends on the app/website I guess)
Cru de Ville
Posted - 16 March 2017 21:26
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BC - I like that! And a most excellent way to find out if he actually does have a sense of humour...
Sergio Bogface
Posted - 16 March 2017 21:50
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Hey, Hot Bloke, you look too good to be true! Are you in fact a serial killer? (Please be honest - I've just had a boob job, so I'm feeling a bit delicate, and to be honest, it would be a fricking waste of money if me and my brand new tits end up buried under your patio).

Toodles / Cruella.
Sergio Bogface
Posted - 16 March 2017 21:55
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Hey, Hot Bloke! Day-am, but you look hot! It's difficult to tell from your profile pics, but you look almost as hot as my new tits - and they are sizzling! You wanna come over with a thermometer, so we can compare?
Sergio Bogface
Posted - 16 March 2017 22:07
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Yo, HB, the thing is, I'm a lawyer. I'm not really very good at banter. 500 page loan agreements are more my kind of thing - and believe me, I would willingly send you a draft if it would help things along.

So, I asked on an internet forum for lawyers for advice on what my opening line to you should be, and you wouldn't believe some of the gash they came up with (although one or two of the gags about MAC clauses were hilaire).

So here I am, blushing and giggling like a loon.

Erm, hi, how are you?

(Please don't kill me and bury me under your patio).
Cru de Ville
Posted - 16 March 2017 22:12
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Do you know, I've just realised that I can't actually be arsed!

Thing is, it seems like such a waste of time - because of the way bumble works (women have to make the first contact), lots of blokes just swipe right on everybody that doesn't look like the hunchback of notre dame's uglier sister, with no intention of actually interacting with most of them.

So taking the time to be witty and banterful seems like too much of an effort...

I think I'm going to stick with "hello".
Sergio Bogface
Posted - 16 March 2017 22:19
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The hunchback of notre dame's uglier sister was butt-munchingly ugly, it has to be said - but by heck she had a way with words!
In the Navy
Posted - 16 March 2017 22:22
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roses are red, violets are silly, I've greased up my flaps so bring me your willy!
Stixta
Posted - 16 March 2017 22:30
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Cru, I came on to this thread to see if I could steal a suggestion (I am really new to Bumble and have just matched with someone and am a big coward). But I think hello is probably the best thing to say. I think I'll go for that. If I pluck up the courage in the next 23 hours.


Talking to absolute strangers on a public forum is obviously not scary like saying hello in private to one stranger.
Osama
Posted - 16 March 2017 22:37
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"Do you Rof?"
The Wizard of Oz
Posted - 16 March 2017 22:39
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"They're real, they've been renovated and they're magnificent!"
Cru de Ville
Posted - 16 March 2017 22:47
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Stix - do it, do it, do it!!! Seriously, what do you have to lose?
Stixta
Posted - 16 March 2017 22:53
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I did it. We are now conversing. He doesn't believe that women drink pints after uni. This might not work out.
Stixta
Posted - 16 March 2017 22:56
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Wot?
Stixta
Posted - 16 March 2017 22:58
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Ok, cool.
Cru de Ville
Posted - 16 March 2017 23:00
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Trom - we really do have to do this...

Wiz - they blooming well are!
Martian Law
Posted - 16 March 2017 23:35
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Good luck girls
Scylla
Posted - 17 March 2017 06:16
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Cru I once read a study that supports your statement at 22.12.

I've tried to find it and link but can't remember where it was.

The basic gist of it was that many people on dating apps have no intention of ever meeting anyone on it they just get a self esteem boost from a 'match' .. only something like 10% of matches or whatever you call it result in banter.. and far less than that result in people meeting up.

Scylla
Posted - 17 March 2017 07:09
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I didn't realise RoF was a dating app... is that where I've been going wrong?
Moosheepploptrump
Posted - 17 March 2017 08:09
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Whatever happened to just being yourself?

Suppose it would make for #### dating threads on ROF... And I wouldn't recommend it for the majority of Roffers/fettes but you should just about be alright with it...


Cru de Ville
Posted - 17 March 2017 10:17
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Scylla - that sounds about right, and I imagine it's even more pronounced on Bumble because blokes cannot initiate contact, so the only way they can guarantee "attention" is by swiping right...
Woolfreturned
Posted - 17 March 2017 10:25
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Hang on. I leave this place for FIVE F****** YEARS AND CRU AND STIX ARE STILL INTERNET DATING WHEN I COME BACK?!

Phoebe Caulfield
Posted - 17 March 2017 10:29
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I did it. We are now conversing. He doesn't believe that women drink pints after uni. This might not work out

BLOCK AND REPORT HIM
Father CYPmas
Posted - 17 March 2017 10:30
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yes, but with younger boobies.
Stixta
Posted - 17 March 2017 10:36
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I did have a 3 year relationship in the middle though Woolfie, and I'm just starting to get back in the saddle. So to speak.
Stixta
Posted - 17 March 2017 10:38
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And heh @ Phoebs
Cru de Ville
Posted - 17 March 2017 10:44
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Hello Woolfie! Not sure who you're thinking of, but I certainly wasn't internet dating when you were last here, this is my first time navigating my way through this nonsense : my mates put me on Bumble in September after I broke up with ex-Mr Cru (we'd been together for about 6 years)...
Monkeygirkl
Posted - 17 March 2017 10:45
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I'm a lawya. Let me gnaw ya
Martian Law
Posted - 17 March 2017 10:48
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There seem to be so many dating apps. Do people go on multiple apps/sites at a time, and if so, do you come across the same people as matches?
.....Meh
Posted - 17 March 2017 10:52
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These days I go with blunt honesty. I'll probably forget to reply at some point and it will come to nothing so if you want to grab a coffee let's do that or whatevs.

Of course it is smoother and wittier when it's dished out.
Loopy-Lou
Posted - 17 March 2017 10:53
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I used to just send gifs instead of trying to come up with something witty. this was my favourite and most successful:

http://giphy.com/gifs/flirting-3oEjHOWlyBm3IE1p7O

who doesn't love a polar bear saying hi?
.....Meh
Posted - 17 March 2017 10:53
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Martian, yes. I was talking to some guy the other day who I'd forgotten to reply to for ages and he told me we'd been talking on another app too. I'd completely forgotten.
Martian Law
Posted - 17 March 2017 10:56
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Doesn't surprise me to be honest. Still if you matched on multiple sites, means there might be something there?!
Woolfreturned
Posted - 17 March 2017 11:06
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Sorry, ladies, I was being insensitive. I think, Cru, you were just starting out with Mr Cru as I flounced off.

Stix on the other hand is, and always has been, irredeemable.
Stixta
Posted - 17 March 2017 11:07
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I'm not sure how to take that
Woolfreturned
Posted - 17 March 2017 11:11
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It's a non-sequitur.

and not very funny.

I've lost my RoF mojo.
Barnsbury
Posted - 17 March 2017 11:11
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opening with a question often works well as it requires an answer and (hopefully) begins a dialogue. How about "do you fvck on first dates and does your dad own a brewery?"
Woolfreturned
Posted - 17 March 2017 11:18
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can i feel your t*ts or will you show 'em to me?

Maid_Marian02
Posted - 17 March 2017 12:25
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Stix you should get straight in there then and offer to provie him wrong - and rink him under the table - heh
I've just rejoined The Apps after excitingly signing up to A Proper Site (more ££ down the drain) and spending more time blocking weirdoes than finding anyone nice
So back to the Apps it is
Stixta
Posted - 17 March 2017 12:27
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No, I don't need to prove anything, and I'd rather not waste time on someone that pompous.
Maid_Marian02
Posted - 17 March 2017 12:41
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My friend has a main pic of her downing a pint - that will weed out the ones who don't like it
Mr Sugden
Posted - 17 March 2017 12:46
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Be subtle...

"Hi, I hope your name is Richard because I really like that".
Martian Law
Posted - 17 March 2017 12:49
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Probably an obvious point but have any of you thought about setting each other up with your single mates?
Stixta
Posted - 17 March 2017 12:57
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MM, My first picture is me holding a pint! He was clearly very attracted to me...
Stixta
Posted - 17 March 2017 13:06
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Cheers Trombs
SumoKing
Posted - 17 March 2017 13:29
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