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Main Discussion

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Judy_Carter
Posted - 17 March 2017 13:55
drinks party.

That was easy peasy.

Next.
Judy_Carter
Posted - 17 March 2017 13:56
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that reminds me that I need to catch up on the BBC3 thing about the Edinburgh students.
Clergs (!)
Posted - 17 March 2017 13:59
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I am feeling REALLY fat tho jc

not jc irrational fat

like a big pouch of lard

and I am quite tired
Clergs (!)
Posted - 17 March 2017 13:59
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I haven't braved clique yet
sad banta
Posted - 17 March 2017 14:00
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"a thread for rof to decide your quandary"

ok, sounds interesting

"here is mine"

oh FFS !
Judy_Carter
Posted - 17 March 2017 14:00
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I have a little buddha belly, but I rub it for luck, like people do with actual buddha statues.

have a few Scottish bellinis, and you'll feel fine.
Martian Law
Posted - 17 March 2017 14:02
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Im very bored and cant be bothered to do any more work. Don't have anything urgent on.

Do I:

1) Have a Clergham in the loos

2) Waste time on the internet doing random quizzes

3) Do some work
Clergs (!)
Posted - 17 March 2017 14:02
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scottish bellinis are vodkabru right?

Judy_Carter
Posted - 17 March 2017 14:05
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ML - 2.

Clergh - aye
Maid_Marian02
Posted - 17 March 2017 14:09
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Drinks
Get rid of the lard tomorrow
Next!
Maid_Marian02
Posted - 17 March 2017 14:09
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Drinks
Get rid of the lard tomorrow
Next!
Osama
Posted - 17 March 2017 14:13
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run to the party
Tom Linorder
Posted - 17 March 2017 14:14
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not much of a quandary tbf
Clergs (!)
Posted - 17 March 2017 14:14
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it is a quandary

Tom Linorder
Posted - 17 March 2017 14:15
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get p^ssed in the gym
Judy_Carter
Posted - 17 March 2017 14:16
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I like Osama's lateral thinking. That kind of problem solving will take him far, so what Ossie said.
Betty
Posted - 17 March 2017 14:20
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Go to the party.

I have two.

1. Should I have a second baby even though it's hard work and expensive?

2. Should I switch jobs to one that is better paid but an unknown quantity (current job is v much a comfort zone and I neither love it or hate it)?
Trigger Warning
Posted - 17 March 2017 14:22
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Betty:

yes: they can keep each other company and busy and 2 will learn form 1 and it'll be easier because you've seen it al before

yes: but not for money but for development, progression & learning.
Judy_Carter
Posted - 17 March 2017 14:24
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1. - have the baby

2. stay, if you have the second baby; leave if you decide not to.
Betty
Posted - 17 March 2017 14:31
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Second one would be easier if the first one was 21 already Tricky!

Why do you think yes to 2 babies JC?

It may not be my choice anyway, being 40.
Trigger Warning
Posted - 17 March 2017 14:35
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Pff, I had red at 40 and apparently it's easier to get upduffed at 40 or over if you've had one already.
Betty
Posted - 17 March 2017 14:42
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Interesting. I read that once you hit 40, 90% of your eggs are chromosonally abnormal. That's another con - increased chance of downs etc.
Trigger Warning
Posted - 17 March 2017 14:44
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All rubbish and flawed data. There is an increased chance of downs though. But it's still not a big chance.
B'A'M
Posted - 17 March 2017 14:45
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have more than 1 kid

3-Dux is (I assume) an only child. you don't want 3-Dux being the one visiting you in a care home do you?

irrefutable logic
Back to Cyprian :)
Posted - 17 March 2017 14:45
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go for a run, go home, shower, go to party, meet someone for sechz.

2 work outs. then you can forgive yourself the kebab and 9 pints.
Clergs (!)
Posted - 17 March 2017 14:51
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I think 3-dux would be an adorable son

tho I would have had to send him to state school and who knows how that would have worked
Judy_Carter
Posted - 17 March 2017 14:51
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gah I am 40 soon and childless. Need one soon.
Clergs (!)
Posted - 17 March 2017 14:52
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betty - how much do you enjoy your existing kid relative to how you expected to enjoy him?

i.e., do you think your rational decision was correct?
Clergs (!)
Posted - 17 March 2017 14:53
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jc - don't get into a fit of panic about it.

I have spent the afternoon reading reddit threads about people who didn't love their babies. It's all very worrisome. Just take things as they come.
Trigger Warning
Posted - 17 March 2017 14:54
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Are you preggers again clergs?
Clergs (!)
Posted - 17 March 2017 14:57
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only with possibilities, woo

why are there so many options and why are none of them good?
Trigger Warning
Posted - 17 March 2017 15:08
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Maybe all of them are good but not until you actually do it.
Betty
Posted - 17 March 2017 15:09
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There is no way to rationalise being/wanting to be a parent.

On one hand, I believe it is the best thing I have ever done. On the other, my time/life is not my own anymore, which is crushing.

The only hope of recovering a semblance of pre-child life, is to stick with only one. And yet, I held my neighbor's newborn this week and very much wanted another.

No logic.

I didn't really have any expectations going in to it, Clergs. What I can tell you is that, for me, the really heart-squeezing feeling of love didn't kick in until he started to get a little older. In the early stages I was just fixated on protecting him and nurturing him. Now I lie in bed in the mornings, looking forward to hearing him wake and planning what we will do for the day. And I often just sit there looking at him at marvelling. It's V much like being in love.
Clergs (!)
Posted - 17 March 2017 15:11
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love is awesome and I guess that can't be rationalised either
Clergs (!)
Posted - 17 March 2017 15:11
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ru sure holding the baby was actually wanting the baby rather than avolutionary cuteness response tho?
Trigger Warning
Posted - 17 March 2017 15:12
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I honestly think it's easier to get your life back with two children. Otherwise you'll be the one keeping it busy until they're 10.
Clergs (!)
Posted - 17 March 2017 15:12
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my mum deffo didn't love me

this has probably fvcked up my ability to love so I probably cannot advise on the right choice

is really gross, which I know you don't need telling
Clergs (!)
Posted - 17 March 2017 15:16
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right I have decided for you, betty

go for it and see what happens
once you're knocked up, get the harmony test (I think you can get it as early as 8 weeks), which checks for loads of chromosomal stuff, even those microdeletion thingies
if all seems ok then there's your answer


Betty
Posted - 17 March 2017 15:20
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Tricky what about play dates? That way you can pick the nice ones and send them home when you've had enough.

Nappies/ doesn't bother me. The things I most hated were - the 6 weeks of nausea at the beginning, sleep training, and the phase when they're mobile enough to get hold of everything but not clever enough to Realise that some thing isdangerous/disgusting etc.
Betty
Posted - 17 March 2017 15:21
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Righto -sounds like a plan.

Also, how do you know that your mum didn't love you?
Misshoolie
Posted - 17 March 2017 15:22
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Two are easier than one.

The second is easier than the first

This is based ebthrely on my subjective experience not peer reviewed research FAOD
Clergs (!)
Posted - 17 March 2017 15:25
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hm. do you think if a person doesn't get morning sickness they might also have a magical sleeping and continent baby?

heh@ the getting hold of everything. I am sure they didn't have child safety stuff when I was a very small child. I wonder how many of our peers were maimed and quietly sent to a sanitorium somewhere.

I am glad you are on board with the plan. She just didn't. I don't blame her, I don;t think her own upbringing gave her many emotional reserves (and she didn't love my dad - she has told me this, poor dad - and despite what Sersei in Game of Thrones says I think it must be more of an emotional challenge to love a baby you have with a bloke you don't love or fancy)
Clergs (!)
Posted - 17 March 2017 15:25
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if babies were like lambs they would be so much less terrifying

I am really going to look into getting some lambs
Betty
Posted - 17 March 2017 15:29
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Well it's good that you have come to terms with how she is. Sad for you dad though at least he has you.

Ok I'm on 3% so def time for someone else's quandary.
Misshoolie
Posted - 17 March 2017 15:30
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I didn't get morning sickness with either of mine - one was a hell beast and the other slept through from three weeks.
Clergs (!)
Posted - 17 March 2017 15:30
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I'm not sure I "love" him either

probably

not like in a profound way, though

you do a quandary, scyll!
Clergs (!)
Posted - 17 March 2017 15:31
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betty not scyll!

all antipodeans look alike
Clergs (!)
Posted - 17 March 2017 15:32
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were either born continent, hoolie?
Coracle Lolling
Posted - 17 March 2017 15:33
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hm. do you think if a person doesn't get morning sickness they might also have a magical sleeping and continent baby?

With a baby that size just think of all the stretching.
Clergs (!)
Posted - 17 March 2017 15:35
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:-/
Mufcsan
Posted - 17 March 2017 15:36
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Run home from work, or quick HIIT session, then do the party.
Misshoolie
Posted - 17 March 2017 15:37
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No but the second became spontaneously continent at night at about ten months. I continued to put a nappy on her just in case, but she never weed or 'd in her sleep beyond that age.

She's now a tyrannical 5 year old mind you
Clergs (!)
Posted - 17 March 2017 15:38
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WOW
Jethro won it for Labour
Posted - 17 March 2017 15:39
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I'm not sure which one of my bollocks I like the most.
Clergs (!)
Posted - 17 March 2017 15:40
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the one with the clown's face, surely
Ash89
Posted - 17 March 2017 15:42
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Wait, is Betty going to change jobs?!

WE CAN CHANGE JOBS TOGETHER!
Clergs (!)
Posted - 17 March 2017 15:45
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wait I didn't even SEE that quandary

agreed, change jobs