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Main Discussion

None of you quntz properly answered
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Shami's Chakra botti
Posted - 19 April 2017 20:26
My 'why do KP dry roasted have a fart in the bag which rushes out when you first open it' query of a month or so ago, save for Wang suggesting that each nut was a bit of Kevin Pietersen's arse crumble.

However, we know this is not true as KP was not known for consistency or commitment and there's therefore no way he could deliver this packet after packet in such a uniform manner. Half way into a jumbo grab bag he'd be lured by an international clagg-nut championship or accept a lucrative winnet endorsement contract. Failing that he'd be dazzled by an advance for a book called KP: My Secret Arse Burps.

So please stop this fake news and bring forth the truth.
Shami's Chakra botti
Posted - 19 April 2017 20:31
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I'm more inclined to accept the principle that KP the egotistical tool agreed to a contract with KP the peanut people that every bag should have a little bit of his spirit in it and the joke is on him.

But where does it go!? Seconds after releasing it from the dungeon it's gone. I suspect it rushes away and finds the mothership on some godforsaken boundary in Sharja and re-enters up his batty while he's doing a piece to camera for the Al-Jazeera sports report.
THE INTERNET
Posted - 19 April 2017 23:17
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What about packets of ham and sandwich chicken??

Where does the smell come from??


Do we nee to know? Do we want to know?
THE INTERNET
Posted - 19 April 2017 23:17
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Yes, sandwich chicken
THE INTERNET
Posted - 19 April 2017 23:19
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And also maybe guff doesn't smell like dry roasted peanuts but because no you consume too many YOURSS does so you detect it

Huh?!
sad banta
Posted - 20 April 2017 08:49
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He who smelt it dealt it.
Not Too Fussy
Posted - 20 April 2017 08:51
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I need to go and test this fart in a bag theory now.
Not Too Fussy
Posted - 20 April 2017 08:51
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by which I mean purchase a bag of KP nuts, not struggle with a ziplock in the disableds with my trousers round my ankles
Shami's Chakra botti
Posted - 20 April 2017 09:18
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NTF, putting aside my alarm at the fact that this is news to you, I look forward to your reporting back. Please note it is the crucial first five seconds that count. After that the arse sprite has fled.

I refute Miss T's allegations. Occasional packets. Perhaps one a month or fewer. But every time, EVERY TIME, there is a guff moment.

Dry roasted only. KP Brown packet (yeah a brown. KNow what I'm sayin?)
Go out, people, and check this. Report back. If enough of us do it thenKP himself will struggle with the volume of homing farts and something amusing may occur.
Shami's Chakra botti
Posted - 20 April 2017 09:23
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Ahahahahahaha at this

https://www.reddit.com/r/britishproblems/comments/1kdtxq/those_packets_of_ham_t hat_smell_like_farts_when/

The Jade Goody's arse moment just made me lol.
Esp at 'all good when you get cancer - that's where Hitler went wrong IMO'