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Cyprian
Posted - 08 May 2018 17:00
this will not tun,
Misshoolie
Posted - 08 May 2018 17:03
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Quite possibly not
EC2Y
Posted - 08 May 2018 17:04
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1) yes

2) yes

3) I find it tough to make a fuss about it, what with being of the "no means no and that's OK" generation. I don't feel I have the right to demand sechs from anyone, including my wife, and that if I'm not getting any, that's probably down to me. And also because I couldn't deal with a divorce right now, emotionally (and probably financially as well, at least in the near future)
Misshoolie
Posted - 08 May 2018 17:08
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Oh that's hilarious YARRR and not at all predictable.

Inaccurate tho I assure you.
Pinkus
Posted - 08 May 2018 17:21
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EC2Y -- would your Mrs object to you sleeping with another woman?
EC2Y
Posted - 08 May 2018 17:23
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Pinkus - oh yes she would
student05
Posted - 08 May 2018 17:26
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She was breast feeding at the time so I will except have no sechs during that period.
EC2Y
Posted - 08 May 2018 17:30
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student05 - that's medical though innit? That doesn't count, just like no sechs at the time when parents are in a state of near stupor induced by weeks of sleepless nights with a newborn (yes Lydia it can affect both parents, and I'm well aware you had it tough in your time, no need to butt in).
Taurus
Posted - 08 May 2018 18:00
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1) Wot EC2Y said
2) Wot EC2Y said
3) Almost wot EC2Y said. I cannot live without the kids. Also a divorce will affect the kids in a big way, judging by how most of their friends are reacting to their parents breaking up and beginning new relationships.
Moosheepploptrump
Posted - 08 May 2018 18:00
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Leaving my 2 kids and having a limited input into their upbringing is not something I could do. There’s very little I could not tolerate.

Hard (phnarr) to fix after it goes too long..
Misshoolie
Posted - 08 May 2018 18:04
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Do you not think tho, when you inevitably divorce when the children are older, they will think their childhood was based on a deception?
Moosheepploptrump
Posted - 08 May 2018 18:07
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Who knows? And who knows if they will ever find out?

It’s taking the least kittens option available at the time.. it might well be wrong.. but so might the other way.
Moosheepploptrump
Posted - 08 May 2018 18:07
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Divorce isn’t inevitable.. likely perhaps..
Moosheepploptrump
Posted - 08 May 2018 18:09
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Anyway.. I get laid all the time.. obvs.. and I’m a complete stud like all roffers.
!Threepwood
Posted - 08 May 2018 18:10
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"a blip... six month"

OBJECTION!
torontochicken
Posted - 08 May 2018 18:12
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Im not a man, but I don’t really know why if you divorced later you’d be telling your children it was due to decades-long lack of sex.

Since having kids I have come to the view that, absent abuse, there’s not a lot that would convince me to divorce the father of my children. And a lack of sex would be a long way down the list of the things that even came close.
Cru de Ville
Posted - 08 May 2018 18:17
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Missh - I can think of lots of reasons why staying in a sexless marriage is a stupid and bad idea, even for The Sake Of The Kids, but the idea that they may feel that they have been the victims of an extended scam seems to be looking for trouble where none exists?

I mean, what would the nature of the deception be? That, despite outward appearances, your parents were not blissfully happy and deeply fulfilled in each other but that they loved you enough to (misguidedly, perhaps, unnecessarily, certainly) sublimate their needs and desires in order to ensure their constant presence in your life?

If so, I reckon most people could handle the shock.
Capt Haddock
Posted - 08 May 2018 18:26
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What most men and ronters said about divorce and sex.
Divorce is a drastic step (especially when kids are around) and nothing short of complete break down because of abuse or cheating justifies that in my mind.
Cru de Ville
Posted - 08 May 2018 18:38
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You just can't help yourself, can you, you utterly mental loon of a stalky person?
EC2Y
Posted - 08 May 2018 18:39
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Oh eff off to your room Tarquin sweetie, we're discussing adult stuff. Have you done your homework yet?

Otherwise: what the Moishe said.
Lydia
Posted - 08 May 2018 18:41
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So in these sexless marriage if say your wife won't have sex is she masturbating or is she going for periods of say 12 months without any sexual feelings and orgasms?
EC2Y
Posted - 08 May 2018 18:42
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The Mooshe. Damn you autocorrect
EC2Y
Posted - 08 May 2018 18:47
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Lydia:
1) What makes you think it's 12 months?

2) How would I know? She's proper English and all she ever said about sex was that I would know if I was doing it right.


Rhamnousia
Posted - 08 May 2018 18:50
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The connection between sex and nuclear families is so problematic. I really think they should be separated out somehow.

Not sure how tho.

Misshoolie
Posted - 08 May 2018 18:59
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Aw it's "Tarquin"

I don't have jaundiced views at all. I'm genuinely interested in how and why people put up with this

Supplementary questions: was the sex bit never up to much?
Rhamnousia
Posted - 08 May 2018 19:02
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How many women have you kept happy??
Rhamnousia
Posted - 08 May 2018 19:16
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Ugh boak

Said every woman ever
EC2Y
Posted - 08 May 2018 19:20
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Tarquin: maybe she doesn't want me to "keep her happy". She won't talk about it so I guess that's down to me. I accept that, and maybe she's shagging someone else she gets off with. That's her right.

And it's not a problem that a stud like you would ever have, obvs.
Rhamnousia
Posted - 08 May 2018 19:22
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Hm, pathos re this, ec.

I don't believe many relationships stay sexy (I'm amazed when some folk have a second kid) but if it's unequal maybe you should split. I hate that it's rarely possible to do this respectfully. I blame church.
Taurus
Posted - 08 May 2018 20:15
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Supplementary questions: was the sex bit never up to much?


In my case, no. Then again I was not shallow enough to base a lifelong decision on sex alone. To me other character traits were more important.

PS: I am also a stud and get laid everyday
Siegfreid
Posted - 08 May 2018 20:20
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I ejected her from the marital bedroom for mentalness. She's not getting back in until she gets treatment and I fully intend to keep it that way. I'm easy with the decision; it's a relief to have part of the house that is mine, I close the door and don't have to deal with her issues until I open it again.
EC2Y
Posted - 08 May 2018 20:46
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Tarquin: are you actually my wife IRL? Cuz the sneering tone and air of supremacy ("so sex with you was shite to start with, eh?) certainly sounds familiar.
Capt Haddock
Posted - 08 May 2018 21:13
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he is speaking from multiple experiences.
He has adopted that tone to overcome the trauma
Analyst
Posted - 08 May 2018 21:27
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I was married to one such person for about 6 months before I gave up and started shagging the bar maid at our local.

We split up not long after
Bloody Nora
Posted - 08 May 2018 21:48
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I think two months without sex would be “more than a blip”.
Lydia
Posted - 08 May 2018 22:09
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So if people in these sexless relationships are still sharing a bed room surely they know if the other masturbates or are their lives really separate, everything secret and locket away, nothing shared. How would you now know that your other half masturbates?
Bloody Nora
Posted - 08 May 2018 22:20
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A Kevin Spacey?
Taurus
Posted - 08 May 2018 22:22
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I wank under my desk. Right before a meeting, where I have to shake lots of hands.
Cyprian
Posted - 08 May 2018 22:29
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This will tun
Bloody Nora
Posted - 08 May 2018 22:35
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Heh, fair point.
Burt..Gently!!!
Posted - 08 May 2018 23:58
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I was in one and am now divorced the received wisdom is:

1 medical issue
2 not the right sexuality for the marriage
3 affair
4 depression
5 you are a total Caaant but you don't know it

I'm taking a vow of silence :-p
Obadiah Hakeswill
Posted - 09 May 2018 00:19
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Weird when people advocate breaking up a marriage for lack of sex, particularly when they don’t know the mailrried couple. I’m just going to say two things:

1 - the stronger marriages are not based primarily on sex. In fact, marriages based primarily on sex tend to be the weakest, which makes perfect sense when you think about it.

2 - shock, horror: some people aren’t that bothered by sex (or lack thereof).
Original Teclis
Posted - 09 May 2018 05:19
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Sharpie's nemesis there is making a couple of very good points. I've never had a sexless relationship, the concept is alien entirely to me, not for macho reasons but I just happen to be tactile and do need intimacy. Not everyone does. But I've had my fair share of failed marriages and relationships both and sex was never the issue. In a couple of cases it was basically all the relationship became about when we realised we essentially despised one another but were still at it like rabid monkeys because, well sexual chemistry worked.

Of course it was never enough to hold anything together for long, which I suspect gets to the root (fnarr) of the point, which is that as part of an already loving and equal relationship sex can be a genuine physical expression of your feelings but it can't be all there is to a relationship.

Cat on a hot tin ceiling
Posted - 09 May 2018 05:38
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Bit of a ‘people are different and different things matter to them at different times’ non shocka this one. Also interesting (at least to me) that I have only really realized how much my upbringing including my parents being divorced (but also lots of other things as well) impacted me by watchinng how my kids are and how things impact them. That’s not a they fvck you up your Mum and Dad thing (although they do!) some of the impacts are very positive but it’s still something that weights heavily on a lot of people and rightly so in my view. Ultimately people just try to cope with what life has thrown them as best they can.
Pinkus
Posted - 09 May 2018 08:17
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Surprised about some of the stuff here. Always been of the opinion that a good sex life can get you both through a lot of the shite life chucks at you, when other relationship bonds are being strained.

Still, different strokes for different folks.
angrynconfused
Posted - 09 May 2018 08:24
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1) do you mind?

Yeah

2) if you mind, do you think your situation is typical?

I have no idea. I don't know many people.

3) why do you stay?

Because I love my wife very much.
Hal Incandenza
Posted - 09 May 2018 08:36
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What a depressing thread- these stories and their acceptance that this is quite normal tells a real story about sex and attraction in our society.

Even the usual haranguers on here could make no criticism of these men and their thoroughly decent, noble sentiments and behaviour. Yet it's completely apparent that their wives were never really attracted to them, and now it has served its reproductive function there is no interest in sex for its own sake.

Seems to reflect the grim reality I have posited before: that women feel inherent sexual attraction and desire to only a very small % of men. Otherwise seemingly just and quid pro quo for sperm and financial commitment.
Rhamnousia
Posted - 09 May 2018 08:39
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Jayerz, frankly sexual attraction developed at a time when we all died at 30. It's not an "our society" thing. We just aren't devised for interminable old people sex.
Misshoolie
Posted - 09 May 2018 08:46
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Jayerz if you could just try occasionally inserting the words "some" or "many" in front of the word "women" in both your sentences and your thoughts that would help.

I think sadly often what is going on is that many women don't think it's ok for them to feel sexual, that they are embarrassed to seek medical help for a low libido, and are inhibited to openly discuss sex even with their partner. It's entirely possible many of the women whose partners have posted above would like to have an active sex life, with their other half, but the problem has become too entrenched to talk about.

Ofc there are some women (as there are some men) who are perfectly happy to have little or no sex, and as with all things if both partners are happy with the situation there isn't something to fix.

It's lollersome that there are assumptions above that enjoying sex makes you shallow but I expected that tbh
angrynconfused
Posted - 09 May 2018 08:47
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"Otherwise seemingly just and quid pro quo for sperm and financial commitment."

Dude does this argument every get boring for you.

If you think for a second my wife is with me due to a financial commitment you are barking up the wrong tree and not just a normal tree but one of those huge jungle trees.

I don't have enough money to keep my gold fish financially tied to me.
Rhamnousia
Posted - 09 May 2018 08:49
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I suspect the women just find the men grim tbh (no offence lads, it's a subjective thing)
Bloody Nora
Posted - 09 May 2018 08:51
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I think sadly often what is going on is that many women don't think it's ok for them to feel sexual, that they are embarrassed to seek medical help for a low libido, and are inhibited to openly discuss sex even with their partner.

This.

Huge amounts of funding have been poured into researching male sexual dysfunction and developing drugs such as viagra, but there has been next to nothing for women.
Rhamnousia
Posted - 09 May 2018 08:54
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But it's not dysfunction if women don't want it

The idea that women should take drugs to want to have sex with their saggy old husband when they're quite happy not bothering is horrendous on many levels
Bloody Nora
Posted - 09 May 2018 08:58
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A lot of women find it difficult or even impossible to orgasm. I find it hard to believe that those women don't wish that more was known about that and that there was some kind of effective treatment for it. Equally, I can see how those women might get to a point where they can't really be bothered with sex, even if they still love and are attracted to their other half.
Gloucester
Posted - 09 May 2018 08:58
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Myth that people used to usually die at 30. Low life expectancy was mostly from childhood death. People always lived into their 60s / 70s.
Rhamnousia
Posted - 09 May 2018 09:01
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Agreed but that's a separate issue.

Women aren't physical like men so if you don't want sex a pill is less likely to be the answer than a new penis.
Jorrocks
Posted - 09 May 2018 09:01
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1. Yes;
2. Don't know; and
3. Kids and I haven't been perfectly behaved, so I consider myself lucky.
Hal Incandenza
Posted - 09 May 2018 09:03
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Wot Clergs said.

This is not about dysfunction or anorgasmia, women who are attracted to men but for some reason find sex physically difficult.

This is about lack of desire: if you need drugs to make you want to have sex with someone, the basic truth is that you do not feel attracted to them.

Clergs is at least telling the truth here: these women find most men, even men they've entered into LTRs with, "grim". That is the reality of sexual attraction for normal, decent men.
Keef_
Posted - 09 May 2018 09:05
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But they should still want it with someone, no?

Besides, the days when the female libido was a mystery are long gone. Thanks to advances in timepiece technology and sports car exhaust notes the process of getting your burd to gash mark 5 from a standing start is less of a minefield.
Bloody Nora
Posted - 09 May 2018 09:07
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I think that's a bit of a generalisation, Clergs.

And I still think that the hugely different levels of research and development into male sexual dysfunction versus female sexual dysfunction may go some way towards explaining why women are more likely to lose interest in sex. (Undoubtedly combined with other factors such as the physical damage childbearing wreaks on women's bodies and the fact that many women are now expected to juggle stressful jobs at the same time as still being expected to do the bulk of the childcare and housework.)
Pinkus
Posted - 09 May 2018 09:07
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Works both ways, Jayers. Broke up with my ex (8 year relationship) cos I didn't want to sleep with her any more. Attraction certainly isn't a one way street.
Rhamnousia
Posted - 09 May 2018 09:15
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"they should still want it with someone"

That's quite a statement. Lots of women just aren't bothered about sex at all (or only in very specific circumstances). Some people live their whole lives very happily celibate.
Misshoolie
Posted - 09 May 2018 09:17
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I don't think women *should* want sex or *should* take medication if they don't want sex, but I definitely don't think if they want to feel horny and don't, that they should be embarrassed about it. And I'm sure a lot are.
Hal Incandenza
Posted - 09 May 2018 09:20
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That may be true Hoolie, but I am sure you can appreciate that it probably doesn't make these guys feel sexy, that their "lover" would need to be drugged to feel attracted to them!
Siegfreid
Posted - 09 May 2018 09:20
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I'm fine with people who don't want sechs with their o/h. I am not fine that they believe, at the same time, that the o/h can't go and have a sechsual relationship elsewhere. It's jealousy and zero libido that should be studied. That's the Bastard, right there.
Bloody Nora
Posted - 09 May 2018 09:24
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A lot of women certainly do feel embarrassed about it, but even if they aren't, there isn't a whole lot that can be done about it. Whereas if a man can't get it up, he can go to the doctor and the answer will be "well you're in luck, because there's a treatment for that".
Heffalump
Posted - 09 May 2018 09:27
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the single best thing nearly all husbands can do to improve their sex lives is to lose weight

followed by doing more washing, both of the personal and laundry sort
Misshoolie
Posted - 09 May 2018 09:29
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If it's a hormonal or depression problem I don't see why their partner should feel angsty about it. It's not about him.

Just be less fragile while women are bending over backwards to make you feel better
cІubman
Posted - 09 May 2018 09:30
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somebody once told me if you're going to give up sex with everybody else for a marriage, then you want to make sure that sex is pretty great.

somebody else once told me that if you simply base a marriage on sex it's doomed and it needs to be on much deeper things.

both of them on the face of it sound sensible and rationale. but they don't necessarily match up to each other (other than in an idealised world).
Cyprian
Posted - 09 May 2018 09:33
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interested in the earlier "if there's no sex, don't stay together for the kids, just cut and run" arguments from earlier.

To decide to split is a balance between:

1. more sex

versus

leave a woman you otherwise love
less access to kids you love
leave the house you spent your 20s and 30s scraping to buy and move into a depressing flat somewhere
losing some of the communal friends
if friends continue to be shared, having to share, so less access to them too.
buy a second car (but a naice one)
sitting in alone 3-4 evenings a week
dating apps. those scary dating apps.



A near-mate just split from his missus. He was full of the "you'll never guess what happened last weekend" for about 3 months. We aren't particularly close. Now he'll text at odd hours or call for a catch-up. He does the same to pretty much everyone in his phone contacts. He's bloody lonely. Misses his kids terribly. Worries about his hairline. He met with a woman and dated for a bit. She turned out to be less than stable, so the only way he could sensibly end it was to lie that he was getting back with his wife. Unstable woman showed up at his wife's office (having found her on LinkedIn) seeking to verify that they were reconciling.


I think I'll take my "much less regular, but still reasonably regular" sex life, thankgewverymuch.
Lydia
Posted - 09 May 2018 09:35
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There are some very fundamental issues on the thread. When I married you gave continuous consent in English law to consent. thatr is still the position in many religions including Islam. There was no rape in marriage and sex was a fundamental condition of marriage which is why even today marriage (other than gay marriage where it gets complicates about who pokes what at whom) in civil law can be annulled if there has been no consummation.

So we are now since the 90s in a new era where women rightly can refuse. Some will never want sex and always refuse, Some will agree to keep someone happy but keep it to the minimum - once a week being a lot of that person and hardly anything to the other. I don't kow if doctors still do this but at your 6 week GP check (6 weeks after having a baby) it was suggested beforethat check that you tried sex so that if there were a physical problem with it you would know by that 6 week check and raise it with the GP.

The idea that someone male or female who is just not as sexual as the other person or who is asexual is medically ill is just pie in unfair on those who are simply unsexual. Some men have said that when eventually they lose their sex drive it's a huyge relief, mad man removed from their back and plenty of Eastern religions and Western too see chastity as nirvana.

People should keep talking to each other about it all however. if you marry someone quite sexual and then expect them to accept no sex with you and that they just masturbate that might be unfair if it is to be forever but personal indulgence is not the be all and end all in life. Doing your duty can be just as important. People don't die from lack of sex.
Bloody Nora
Posted - 09 May 2018 09:39
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Wise words from Clubbers and Cyp.

But what if your "much less regular, but still reasonably regular" sex life turned into no sex life at all?

I was once on the receiving end of this from a boyfriend who suddenly went off sex, I think probably due to stress. It was enormously hurtful, I felt awful about myself and the relationship, and it didn't last much longer. It wasn't a very long term relationship and we were in our early 20s, so hardly on the same level as a marriage breakdown, but it was still horrible. I imagine the same thing in a marriage (over a much longer period of time) would feel awful, probably for both parties.

Had something slightly similar a few years ago with Mr Nora, only the other way round. We were still having sex but I just wasn't very up for it for a while and I didn't know why. We both felt awful, but thankfully it resolved itself.

I find the idea of a sexless marriage horribly depressing.
Misshoolie
Posted - 09 May 2018 09:41
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I didn't say people *should* "cut and run". I find it hard to imagine that people are happy and emotionally intimate in a relationship that is completely sexless. If they are that's great.
Cyprian
Posted - 09 May 2018 09:49
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Hools, I didn't say you said that (not always about you ). Lobster said it, Cru came reasonably close too.


Nora - re your "what if", I guess it changes the tilt of the equation.

gain = "chance" of lots of sex; loss = all I posted previously.

If I was dating, the losses are less. If I lots invested in a life and don't want to lose that, tricky.

I suppose I'd be torn from having an internet history to mirror Laz's, or a frightfully depressing "bantz Lads!!!" life of Legal Alien.

Both are pretty sorry existences, although I think the Laz career path (Hah) would win out.
Bloody Nora
Posted - 09 May 2018 09:53
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I'm not a bloke, but for me it would be less about "chance of lots of sex" elsewhere, and more about being miserable in a relationship with someone who didn't seem to want me.
sad banta
Posted - 09 May 2018 09:56
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Yes, it's more about intimacy and feeling wanted, than about the physical sensation of sex. Familiarity unfortunately does often breed contempt.
Hal Incandenza
Posted - 09 May 2018 09:56
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We have made a lot of progress on this thread.

There is still some confused reasoning, but at last we seem to have established what has been in dispute for a long time - namely that there is a real problem in that (even where there is an emotional tie) most women do not feel innate sexual atraction to the large majority of normal men.

Genuine female desire, and sex for the inherent enjoyment of it is reserved to a privileged few.
Cyprian
Posted - 09 May 2018 09:57
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there's more to a relationship that being desired, I would say. Luckily I'm hawter than last weekend, and so is my wife.



I blame the donuts....

PS = lol at tarquin's strong correlation guff. I fully expect he made that up, or it was made up by someone else and posted on his other, incel forum.
Bloody Nora
Posted - 09 May 2018 09:58
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Jayerz, I can't see that you have made any progress at all, really.
Misshoolie
Posted - 09 May 2018 09:59
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No jayerz we haven't established that at all
Cyprian
Posted - 09 May 2018 10:03
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what we have established is that Jayerz thinks humans behave like a family of Mountain Gorillas. Heh.
sad banta
Posted - 09 May 2018 10:05
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"Cyprian
Posted - 09 May 2018 10:03 Report as offensive Report Offensive
what we have established is that Jayerz thinks humans behave like a family of Mountain Gorillas. Heh."

I was actually less inclined to agree with him before you gave the analogy...
Hal Incandenza
Posted - 09 May 2018 10:06
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Cyp, that seems to be what the evidence suggests, grimly.

Hoolie if we haven't establsihed that, what's your theory as to why these men are unfvckable? The phenomenon is undeniable
Bloody Nora
Posted - 09 May 2018 10:07
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Anecdotally, I believe it was a dose of fresh mountain air which brought an end to our dry patch a few years ago.
torontochicken
Posted - 09 May 2018 10:07
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Jayerz, this May blow your tiny little mind, but loss of libido in long term relationships is not solely restricted to women. I actually have a few friends who have the problem the other way round - the husband has just completely gone off sex. Tends to be slightly older guys so presumably related to testosterone loss, but it’s really difficult for the women. I know the sexless women cliche fits neatly into your narrative, but I think it’s not as clear cut as that.
Cyprian
Posted - 09 May 2018 10:11
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the problem with curing a dry patch is that it results in a wet patch.
Bloody Nora
Posted - 09 May 2018 10:12
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Not if you do it on a table with a wipe clean surface.
sad banta
Posted - 09 May 2018 10:13
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Snowdon summit cafe ?
Obadiah Hakeswill
Posted - 09 May 2018 10:14
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"Just be less fragile while women are bending over backwards to make you feel better"

I thought we were talking about men in sexless relationships?
Tom Linorder
Posted - 09 May 2018 10:14
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'I know the sexless women cliche fits neatly into your narrative'

tbf isn't that hoolie's narrative, given the title of the thread?
Hal Incandenza
Posted - 09 May 2018 10:15
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Of course ' Ronters, this is known to be a gender-balanced phenomenon; which is why there no longstanding jokes or cliches about women's relative lack of sexual interest. Indeed I have heard tell that nationwide there may be as many as 10 women who actually want more sex than their partners.
Cyprian
Posted - 09 May 2018 10:16
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On a table? A woman of your size?!

Cru de Ville
Posted - 09 May 2018 10:23
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This, unsurprisingly...

"Jayerz, I can't see that you have made any progress at all, really."

Don't you get tired of being in your head?
Misshoolie
Posted - 09 May 2018 10:24
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It's not my narrative, it's observation that loads of men on here seem to be in LTRs and hardly (or never) have sex.

January Sails
Posted - 09 May 2018 10:25
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I've definitely found that my sexual attraction to someone wanes over time and that can be a case of months rather than years which is why I tend to be single. Actually it's not just the sexual attraction that wanes but my general attraction to another person.

Have certainly had the problem in the past of being with someone who wanted sex and couldn't believe that a man confronted by a naked woman could possibly say no to her. At the time I was jobless and had just been told my dad had three to five years to live so wasn't exactly feeling cheerful and relaxed.
Bloody Nora
Posted - 09 May 2018 10:28
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It's OK Cyp, it was one of those industrial sized, heavy duty steel, nailed to the floor type things.
emature
Posted - 09 May 2018 10:29
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I mostly lurk here and rarely post, but I had to respond to this.

I was in this position for years and I got out of it. Averaging 4 times a week now after 15 years together and 3 kids. And it’s good sex, not boring three minutes under the sheets duty shags either. But we had sex about 4 times for 3 years after No.3 was born. It was miserable and put stress on all aspects of our marriage but we have a great partnership now.

For goodness sake don’t talk to her about it. You can’t argue her into wanting to have sex with you and you will just make her resentful because she probably feels guilty about not wanting to have sex with you (ask me how I know).

Barring rare medical issues, the problem is not that she doesn’t want to have sex - the problem is she doesn’t want to have sex with YOU as you are now.

The solution is simple, but not easy. You need to become - or go back to being - the guy she originally wanted to have sex with. A touch of competition anxiety and the knowledge that other women find you attractive will make a big difference. You don’t have to cheat or even flirt with them - she just has to see they like you.

My first breakthrough came when we had a dinner party at home and an attractive younger work colleague was flirting with me all evening, right in front of her husband. My wife was furious when they left but she suggested going to bed that night and we had sex for the first time in months. Some months later, we were at my parents place for the weekend and my mum mentioned that she’d run into an old girlfriend of mine from when I was 18, and she was still single and had recently moved back to my hometown up North and had been asking about me and told my mum she hadn’t managed to find and marry a man like me - even though I hadn’t seen her in 20 years. Similar scenario in bed that night with the wife.

It won’t be easy. It will involve a lot of time and effort and hard work and it is easy to backslide. You need to start working out. You need to start taking the initiative and taking responsibility in areas you probably don’t right now. You need to decide if you want to fantasise about fixing your marriage or you actually want to do it, and make a plan and execute it. Most men don’t, just like most people who start diets fail. But it’s possible if you really want to do it.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Married-Man-Life-Primer-2011-ebook/dp/B004W0IRQ8/ref=s r_1_3?ie=UTF8&qid=1525855403&sr=8-3&keywords=athol+kay

Read this book. Read it with an open mind and follow the plan it sets out. It changed my life, and my wife’s. The focus is on making you a better man. In 9 out of 10 cases your relationship with your wife and your sex life will improve if the advice is properly executed. In 1/10 cases - if your wife is too set in her image of you - you will still be in better shape for the post divorce dating market if you’ve followed the advice.

Someone do links. I don’t know how. The book is the Married Man Sex Life Primer 2011. Do not read the author’s subsequent books. He overcomplicates the basic message from the 2011 book and messes it up.
Misshoolie
Posted - 09 May 2018 10:32
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True TBD, very true
Rhamnousia
Posted - 09 May 2018 10:32
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Did you write that book?
emature
Posted - 09 May 2018 10:46
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If I'd written that book, I wouldn't be telling people not to read the followup books that "I" wrote.

The whole "marriage is not just about sex" trope is misleading. Yes of course a marriage has a lot more to it, but a marriage (or any romantic relationship) has sex as an important part, and if that important part has problems, then there is a weakness in the whole relationship.

It's like driving a car with one flat - sure, it may keep rolling on the other three wheels, but the flat is still a problem.
Tricksy Woo
Posted - 09 May 2018 10:49
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"Genuine female desire, and sex for the inherent enjoyment of it is reserved to a privileged few."

Thank gawd for that. I'd be trawling a couple of changes of knick-knacks in my handbag if I were lusting after every man I came across.

And thank gawd for the fact that those privileged few are different for most women. Can't imagine what it would be like if I were lusting after my sister's husband or vice versa.

Bloody Nora
Posted - 09 May 2018 10:53
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I imagine it might get fairly stressful and tiresome if every other woman in the world was lusting after your husband, too.
Cat on a hot tin ceiling
Posted - 09 May 2018 10:53
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Jayerz - I am really not sure it's all that gender imbalanced to tbh. Now, while I am obviously, in keeping with all other rof men, a stud who needs to get it twice a day and still needs a vvank at lunch time to avoid ending up humping the table at work I am given to understand that there are men for whom a combination of young children, a stressful job/life, not being as fit as they might be and not being as young as they once were might incline them rather more to snoozes than sex at the end of a long day particularly mid week. Some of these men have wives whose preference might well be for a bit more fvcking. Said wives, who being modern women, do probably have at least some insecurities around their bodies and their own aging process and may be worried that their other half's failure to be chasing them around the bedroom any more is to do with them more than him and may therefore be inclined not to talk about it much or to seek to initiate things.

Chuck in that many women's sex drive level does seem to alter with their menstrual cycle and assume that both partners maybe travel a bit with work/for other things then the windows when they are in the same bed and up for it might get smaller and so it may well be that months pass without much happening on that front.



Clove
Posted - 09 May 2018 10:54
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As the female half of a marriage which is not sexless but where the frequency has certainly declined, I also take issue with the suggestion that the attractiveness of the man is to blame. Just another perspective, which I expect isn't unique.

In our case, it's being passing ships during the week (taking it in turns to work late while the other does childcare), and being exhausted at the weekend. We often stay downstairs chatting/watching a box set on a weekend evening when, if we went to bed earlier, we would probably have sex. I definitely find my husband attractive but am nowhere near as interested in sex in general as I was when I was younger, felt more attractive myself and was less exhausted! Lack of time to exercise, being woken in the night, dealing with a sweet but demanding toddler and keeping up with some semblance of a social life all mean that sex is pushed down the list of priorities. I honestly don't think about it most of the time, which I know isn't the case for my husband. Now pregnant which changes things further in that regard.

If we were on holiday alone without children, for a week or two, no work and I wasn't pregnant and exhausted I expect I'd feel rather different. Equally if I was fitter and healthier and didn't have the physical changes that resulted from childbirth and make sex generally less comfortable and enjoyable than it used to be.
Cyprian
Posted - 09 May 2018 10:55
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Nora - explains why La Cyp is so tired all the time.
Misshoolie
Posted - 09 May 2018 10:56
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Have sex on the sofa then
Hodge
Posted - 09 May 2018 11:13
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Based on the above, I think the issue is many women, would fvck maybe 20% of men they know (excluding relatives and those at the extreme end of the age ranges), albeit the make up of that 20% varies a lot from woman to woman. So if a woman marries a guy who's already in the second decile of her fvckable range and he gets fatter and older, he quickly drops out of her moist inducing territory.

Most blokes by contrast would fvck 60% plus of women they know, given singledom and opportunity. So even if a guy's wife slips from top 20% to half way down the list, he'll still want to saddle up, albeit less enthusiastically.

The solution seems to be for everyone to invest time in in looking after and working at both themselves and their relationship, which isn't particularly groundbreaking.
Bloody Nora
Posted - 09 May 2018 11:17
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I would definitely not fvck anything like 20% of men.
Tricksy Woo
Posted - 09 May 2018 11:18
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5% is a generous guesstimate in my case.
torontochicken
Posted - 09 May 2018 11:19
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Make all the snide little comments you want jayerz - but it doesn’t make it any less true that lack of sex goes both ways in a marriage sometimes. Women often have higher sex drives as they get older - the opposite is true for men. And who was it that said thatmale ageing was like being free of the testosterone monster (or words to that effect)?

Hoolie you’re being a bit obtuse. Have sex on the sofa? The point is that some marriages go through phases when sex is less important than other things (childcare, sleep, social lives, work) etc. It seems pretty juvenile to me to pretend that’s not the case.

OTOH living with a total lack of desire I would find upsetting and dysfunctional. Still not sure I’d divorce over it though.
Keef_
Posted - 09 May 2018 11:25
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It was Socrates I think.
Lydia
Posted - 09 May 2018 11:26
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It is an interesting thread not least for male misconceptions about women. I don't think women stop wanting sex with their husbands because the husband is fatter or not tired. It's more that the women have had a baby, are busy, not feeling as sexy.

I do think on the whole there is a difference between male and female sex drives and it pains me as a feminist to write that. I don't think that applies to everyone and you do get women wanting more sex than their husband but it's often the other way round. It is called the "sex deficit" and it's why men in just about all cultures and all over the planet seem to find it harder to get sex than women and want more of it and often have to end up paying one way or another; whereas women can usually get it as much as they want and without paying (other than the risk of pregnancy - quite a high price at times, lovely those gorgeous cute tiny babies are).

I don't agree the supply and demand issue is because a few men are getting all the sex from all the available women as most men don't have more than one wife in the UK nor do that many have loads of women on the go.

If you want to try to protect against these issues then pick a woman who will talk about sex and orgasms a lot, Try to pick one who has more testosterone than others. That might mean she earns more too and that is therefore win win all round although she may not iron your shirts so you may well have to end up doing your own but a price worth paying for the extra sex.

Whilst it's not enforceable I think it's worth agreeing in advance on fundamentals in a marriage - who will work, fairness at home, who cleans the house, how often you might expect to have sex and that kind of stuff.

A big issue is whether it is fine if women (or men) don't want sex. Yes it is fine but if you've gone into a relationship having lots of sex it's hard when things change for the person who continues to want a lot. I also don't see any problem with having sex when you don't really want it. We do things for people in relationship all the time that we don't much want - clean their underpants, pretend we like their ., tidy their mess up, do their tax returns.
Capt Haddock
Posted - 09 May 2018 11:26
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in the noughties, rof was pumping with hormonal men and women running tuns on the back of weekly horn threads

then came discussions about babies and family holidays

now we are talking about sxless marriages / unions / partnerships

Give another few years, we will be sharing notes on saga holidays, denture implants and best place to find toy boys
January Sails
Posted - 09 May 2018 11:27
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Yes I'd fvck much more than 60% of the women I know if you exclude relatives. It's probably more like 90% and there's the thorny issue of women married to relatives who of course aren't blood relatives but are still a bit of a ta
Hodge
Posted - 09 May 2018 11:28
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5%?! Fvckinell, I feel blessed someone who munts as hard as I do has seen any more than bra strap over their entire life if that's the bar being set.

Perfection is difficult Lincoln.
Misshoolie
Posted - 09 May 2018 11:29
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I'm entirely content to be thought juvenile tbh

Also your lifecycle of a relationship is not new to me, my children are significantly older than yours
Rhamnousia
Posted - 09 May 2018 11:35
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heh!@saillaw wtf
Tricksy Woo
Posted - 09 May 2018 11:35
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I'm not attracted to conventionally handsome men so muntfactor can be ignored.
jacket’n’jeans
Posted - 09 May 2018 11:36
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"The solution seems to be for everyone to invest time in in looking after and working at both themselves and their relationship, which isn't particularly groundbreaking. "

this.
Moosheepploptrump
Posted - 09 May 2018 11:36
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Yeah.. what Sailaw said..

This will never tun huh Cyp?

I'm going to follow Emature's advice and do 6000 sit ups before my wife gets home.
Bloody Nora
Posted - 09 May 2018 11:37
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It's not the same 5% for all women, Hodge.

I doubt whether Mr Nora would make it into many of my friends' top 5%, the same way most of their other halves wouldn't make it into mine.
Philip Stuckey
Posted - 09 May 2018 11:37
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To Lydia’s post
So the ideal partner talks about s x and orgasms a lot, has high testosterone and has higher earnings potential.

Sounds like a bloke to me
Rhamnousia
Posted - 09 May 2018 11:38
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I am beginning to see why some people think there are 71 sexualities
Rhamnousia
Posted - 09 May 2018 11:39
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heh@tdb
Cyprian
Posted - 09 May 2018 11:39
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I going to do your wife before she gets home

torontochicken
Posted - 09 May 2018 11:41
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I’m aware of that Hoolie. Which was my point. Your experience of the point in time I - and plenty of others - am currently at was no doubt coloured by being married to an abusive twat. Absent that you might feel differently about things.

Wtf Sailaw?!

Haddock it’s a sign of the times. Sigh.
Obibi
Posted - 09 May 2018 11:43
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Clove / TC / Cyp speak the most sense on this thread.

Jaysrz ur so fked up
Misshoolie
Posted - 09 May 2018 11:43
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Yes yes clearly absolutely nothing good ever happened in my marriage ever, for 15 years, and I have nothing useful to say about marriage at all.

This is a dull rof trope.
Moosheepploptrump
Posted - 09 May 2018 11:44
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I need to finish this grab bag of BBQ hula hoops first..

Just make sure you have her back by 9 so we can watch House.
torontochicken
Posted - 09 May 2018 11:50
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No that’s not what I said at all hoolie. But do huff off if you want.

Misshoolie
Posted - 09 May 2018 11:53
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I won't, as I started the thread.

It is exactly what you implied, but I'm glad you recognise it was twatty and are rowing back from it.
Hal Incandenza
Posted - 09 May 2018 11:56
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That is definitely Saillers' best ever post!

It is amusing how far some of you will go to tell me I am definitely wrong, when virtually all of the factual accounts on here support what I am saying.

It's deeply depressing stuff

Do you think most people (men especially) realise this when they sign up to marriage and children? It's odd that you all seem to think that sex is so important initially in relationships, but are so blase about completely writing it off once kids arrive.
Rhamnousia
Posted - 09 May 2018 11:57
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do you know, I am feeling a bit sad that I think it is very unlikely that I will be in a relationship with someone with whom I enjoy sex much beyond 40

the chances of a man being a good husband, companion, friend AND who turns you on?

seems so unlikely (just statistically)

I know it happens but I don't think it happens much
torontochicken
Posted - 09 May 2018 12:04
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It’s not at all hoolie. And I don’t think I’m the one being a simplistic twat on this thread - have sex on the sofa ffs. Oh! I guess no one ever thought of that before.

But do continue down whatever path you had in mind when you started the thread. Am wondering whether someone with three kids really has this little insight into the lives of others or whether you’re just trolling now.
Cyprian
Posted - 09 May 2018 12:11
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sorry dude, we're watching that too. We're 3 episodes ahead. #thegreatestbetrayal
Misshoolie
Posted - 09 May 2018 12:13
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It was quite obviously a light hearted response to someone saying if they went to bed instead of watching boxed sets they'd have more sex.

There are lots of piss takey comments on this thread, pls do take those up with the people who wrote them.
Hal Incandenza
Posted - 09 May 2018 12:13
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True Clergles

Whereas most men seem to face the sad future of living with a woman who doesn't fancy them.
Hal Incandenza
Posted - 09 May 2018 12:17
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Not sure what thread you are reading LB.

The vast majority of the accounts on here are from men whose wives don't fancy them. Plus quite a few men saying they would shag most women, and quite a few women saying they find only a tiny percentage of men attractive to start with.

Not sure how you figure that doesn't support what I am saying about the mismatch in attraction.
Cyprian
Posted - 09 May 2018 12:26
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La Cyp always give me *the look* as Game of Thrones starts.
Cyprian
Posted - 09 May 2018 12:29
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Jayerz, for some depth of research - I wouldn't shag *most women*if I was single.

Based on looks alone, probably about 5-10%, when you add other factors like personality (goes a long way, trust me...) I expect the numbers and people change.
January Sails
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:04
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Ok I'm less fussy than some of my friends but in my experience most men would certainly fvck more than 60% of the women they know given half a chance. My inability to resist temptation when it comes to women and booze has got me into trouble on more than one occasion.
Bloody Nora
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:07
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But Jayerz, it doesn’t matter if you only find 5% of people attractive, because in the context of everyone you’re likely to meet, that’s still quite a lot of people (unless you are a hermit or live on a remote island) and if you are a reasonably nice and normal person the chances of finding someone from that 5% to have a relationship with are actually pretty good.
jacket’n’jeans
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:08
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State. Of. This. Thread.
Scylla
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:09
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for me it is probably less than .5% of men that I would shag.


Out of interest... to all those men in sexless marriages, was your wife on the contraceptive pill before the marriage and did the marriage become sexless around about the time she came off the pill or soon thereafter?


Hal Incandenza
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:14
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Anna, from a woman's p.o.v. of course that is the logic.

From a man's end of the telescope it looks rather different. Remember, of course, that the while the 5% not exactly the same for each person, there is a large amount of overlap (basically, conventionally "hot" men).

So if you don't tick those boxes your chances are minimal. And by the looks of it, even if you do find someone, 5 years later they will have gone right off the idea, and that's you done for life.

Grim
Cyprian
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:17
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IIRC, there are two main types of contraceptive pill. One is way more expensive and increases libido.
!Threepwood
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:17
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I love when women say "I don't find conventionally handsome men attractive". Sure, tuts, you'd say no to Ryan Gosling if he sauntered your way.
Cyprian
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:18
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he's so dreamy.
Bloody Nora
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:19
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I don't think there is as much overlap as you think. People's tastes are very different. I have been attracted to very different kinds of men, from the conventionally hot ones to the very not conventionally hot ones.

Essentially, most of the nice and normal 30 something men I know, who don't appear to have any major issues with women or their self esteem, are in what seem to be reasonably happy relationships. Most of them are not what I would describe as "conventionally hot".

Your experience just doesn't seem to match what I see in any of the groups of people I socialise with. (Of course, I don't know how much sex most of them are having, or not having.)
Scylla
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:20
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Oh I'd bang Ryan Gosling 4 sure even though he is blonde and I don't normally approve of that... but let's be realistic, less than .1% of the generally population could hold a candle to Gosling.
Tricksy Woo
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:20
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ryan gosling does nothing for me

ryan Reynolds is hotter

IRL I have yet to come across a male specimen that comes close to Hollywood star levels of symmetry and sixpack depth.
angrynconfused
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:21
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"to all those men in sexless marriages, was your wife on the contraceptive pill before the marriage and did the marriage become sexless around about the time she came off the pill or soon thereafter?"

Why do you ask?
Scylla
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:34
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Because there are scientific studies that show women are attracted to different men when they are on the pill.

http://time.com/3596014/attraction-sex-birth-control/

Obibi
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:35
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Jayerz you’re coming across as properly fked up on this thread.

It’s face palm central.
Hal Incandenza
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:35
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(Of course, I don't know how much sex most of them are having, or not having.)

This is a pretty enormous caveat, isn't it?!

From the posts above, it sounds like the answer may well be "not very much at all".

Like a lot of the women on here, you are being heavily disingenuous about the attractiveness thing. We all know that there are certain types of men who if you go to a nightclub with them, will almost always pull, and others who would not stand a chance in a month of Sundays.

Scylla - Gosling is a very handsome man, I would probably turn for him.
Lydia
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:38
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I haven 't heard of Ryan Gosling. I will go to look

"To Lydia’s post
So the ideal partner talks about s x and orgasms a lot, has high testosterone and has higher earnings potential.
Sounds like a bloke to me "

Bit sexist that. This is where men are going wrongb on here - marrying the lower earners with the lower sex drive.
Lydia
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:39
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Okay looked him up. He has a beard - don't fancy that. He seems to wear jewellery which suggests he might be the wrong kind of class and therefore doubly unfanciable. Let me see if I can found out how he talks and if he's clever - most sex is in the brain.
Lydia
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:41
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(Ah he's American. no good)
Scylla
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:43
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Good to know jayerz... good to know.

Most men aren't up for a MMF.. but if Ryan ever calls me I tell him you are happy to join us.
Abbeywell/NSA
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:43
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I just went off my hubby and the Prince Albert didn't help
Used Psychology
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:46
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I think we need to pitch a RoF big brother style house with Clergs and Jayers as residents to a TV company.

This Life meets Stephen King's Misery
stardust
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:47
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(Ah he's American. no good)

Canadian, actually.
Hal Incandenza
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:49
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Hang on a minute Scylla - I said I was keen on Ryan... I didn't make any promises about you!!
Hal Incandenza
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:49
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classic Dusty
Misshoolie
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:51
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Canadians are hot. Speaking as 1/4 myself.
Tricksy Woo
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:51
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is gosling Canadian too?
Obibi
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:51
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No one has a right to pull jayerz if they are Hot or not - doesn’t matter

Pulling is so different to being with someone as u well know

I only wanna pull boys I find hot. I’m not doing a nice personality for kicks
Hal Incandenza
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:52
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I only wanna pull boys I find hot. I’m not doing a nice personality for kicks

This is exactly my point.

It's weird how you all agree with me, then say I'm wrong!
Tricksy Woo
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:53
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Are you like nelly Furtado Hools? Very pretty face with some badonkadonk? I r8 Furtado.
Hodge
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:54
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Devastating news for Ryan Gosling there, back to vvanking furiously over thoughts of the one woman who could give him a truly equal relationship.
Phoebe Caulfield
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:59
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I reckon I would shag about 60% of non-releated men.

The only reason it is that low as all men younger than 35 are automatically discounted
Scylla
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:59
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Well in that case... I just won't bother inviting you at all.


Obibi
Posted - 09 May 2018 14:02
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I agree that me personally I want to pull hotties. Then if I want to go further than pulling I want a personality to match up.

I tried doing an ugly bloke who I thought was nice and he wasn’t and vowed to pull hot horrors over ugly horrors every time

Where you look deranged is arguing that women should do pity put out for the rest of mankind who aren’t 6 foot and good looking like it’s owed to them
Misshoolie
Posted - 09 May 2018 14:02
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Phoebe please would you shag jayerz to shut him up?

If you haven't already ofc. If you already have and he's still whining there is no hope.
Misshoolie
Posted - 09 May 2018 14:03
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Where he is mad is the idea that 5% of men get 90% if the sex or whatever it is. Clearly all these couples were shagging at some point, and for the ones who now aren't and are unhappy, something has gone wrong. Jayerz's view is that women have tricked the men. I'm unconvinced
Hodge
Posted - 09 May 2018 14:04
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Careful using "man" within range of "aren't 6 foot", let's not let the sub six footers think they might have equal claim on the title to actual men.
Hal Incandenza
Posted - 09 May 2018 14:09
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Where you look deranged is arguing that women should do pity put out for the rest of mankind who aren’t 6 foot and good looking like it’s owed to them

I'm not arguing that women should do anything of the sort.

I am agreeing with you that they go for men who are "6 foot and good looking", and the rest don't get much of a look-in (or if they do it is only until they are locked in and some kids are born,at which point sex is off the menu again).

You are violently agreeing with me.
Obibi
Posted - 09 May 2018 14:10
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Life has tricked us all...

It’s fairly obvious isn’t it that most people 30/35+ are just overextended and knackered and that doesn’t typically make anyone feel sexy when most of life is supermarket shopping, spreadsheets and diy.

Roll back to watching the first 15 and spending hours idle and planning outfits and flirting endlessly as everyone is available and it’s consequenceless at that stage and we were 20+ years younger and that’s why it was all romp at every turn

jacket’n’jeans
Posted - 09 May 2018 14:10
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Heh
struandirk
Posted - 09 May 2018 14:11
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"I am agreeing with you that they go for men who are "6 foot and good looking", and the rest don't get much of a look-in (or if they do it is only until they are locked in and some kids are born,at which point sex is off the menu again)."

No. This is wrong.

There *is* an 80/20 thing going in terms of pulling, but the defining characteristic separating the "80" and the "20" isn't looks and height. It's attitude and charm.
jacket’n’jeans
Posted - 09 May 2018 14:11
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At the violence
Obibi
Posted - 09 May 2018 14:12
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Oh ok. Yeah. People fancy Hot people and the rest better sign up to a Tesco life and some healthy denial.
struandirk
Posted - 09 May 2018 14:13
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PS - remember that women just use "hot" to mean "I fancy him". It does not mean "objectively good looking with symmetrical features as measured with a micrometer".

Or, you know, just look at Ryan Gosling to see the point proved.
Misshoolie
Posted - 09 May 2018 14:17
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No one agrees with you violently or otherwise
January Sails
Posted - 09 May 2018 14:26
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I'm under six foot and never had a problem finding ladies who are attracted to me and the issue tends to be me not finding them attractive in return. There's a big difference between the attractiveness required for casual sex and the attractiveness required for more than that.
Bloody Nora
Posted - 09 May 2018 14:28
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I have dated/slept with men ranging from about 5'8 to 6'5, and from the "conventionally hot" to the "I'm sure his mother finds him handsome".

There was no real correlation between any of the above and the quality of our sex life or other aspects of our relationship.
Pinkus
Posted - 09 May 2018 14:36
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There's nothing here that can't be fixed by an unhealthy pron addiction tbf.
Hal Incandenza
Posted - 09 May 2018 14:40
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Roll back to watching the first 15 and spending hours idle and planning outfits and flirting endlessly as everyone is available and it’s consequenceless at that stage and we were 20+ years younger and that’s why it was all romp at every turn

Again, this is the point.

No doubt for the First XV it was "romp at every turn" - and they weren't exactly discriminating, all the girls who wanted a turn got one. So a great time for (i) the girls and (ii) the First XV.

The converse of that is that vast majority of men who are not in the First XV, there was very little interest indeed. The First XV are the very 20% I am talking about.

At least you have the honesty to be up-front about that, whereas others don't
jacket’n’jeans
Posted - 09 May 2018 14:42
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Jayerz look on the bright side. At least you don’t walk like the guys in the first XV do, as if they’ve got aggressive piles. Most of them are also ugly as fvck.
Bloody Nora
Posted - 09 May 2018 14:43
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Jesus Christ Jayerz, can you really not see why you got, and continue to get, "very little interest"?

It's got fvck all to do with not being in the first XV.
funsize 12
Posted - 09 May 2018 14:46
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ALL OF THEM?

Phoebe Caulfield
Posted - 09 May 2018 13:59
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I reckon I would shag about 60% of non-releated men.

The only reason it is that low as all men younger than 35 are automatically discounted
Hal Incandenza
Posted - 09 May 2018 14:46
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Actually my chess skill levels are about as bad as my rugby playing - I assume this is what Anna means.

[I'm actually not at all sure what she means - perhaps my taste in jumpers?]
funsize 12
Posted - 09 May 2018 14:47
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Jayerz I was in the first XV at school and uni. Then I got fat and lost my hair.

You'd think I'd find life much harder as a result (definitely not being top 5% stuff). But no.
Phoebe Caulfield
Posted - 09 May 2018 14:47
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How are are you 12?
Martian Law
Posted - 09 May 2018 14:48
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CBA to read all of the threads but I do wonder whether Jayerz had a crush on a girl at school but lost out to a 6 ft Rugby playing Adonis, leading to his preconceptions about what women want?!
funsize 12
Posted - 09 May 2018 14:52
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Wait so 35 is fine?
jacket’n’jeans
Posted - 09 May 2018 14:56
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Jayerz just needs a whip round

He’ll have to wait til he’s on the bench perhaps.

Not that one.
Phoebe Caulfield
Posted - 09 May 2018 14:56
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35 is fine, but I am sure I can make an exception for you.

Just make sure to moan about the youth of today and reference films I have never heard of
Bloody Nora
Posted - 09 May 2018 14:56
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No Jayerz.

Nothing to do with your jumpers. Or your height. Or not having been to a public school or having parents with an enormous country pile and a yacht/ski chalet.

It is your pathological insecurity about all of the above, your incessant whining about how nobody wants to shag you, and your resentfulness towards women, in particular the suggestion that women should be more open minded about who they sleep with, so everyone can have a turn.
DeadPartnerWalking
Posted - 09 May 2018 14:57
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what's wrong with blokes under 35?!

and what's the upper limit by the way? (asking for a friend)
  
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