Two brothers have failed to convince a court that there is no such thing as money.

Greg and Stuart Foster were ordered to pay Bank of Scotland £1,400 a month after it initiated proceedings against them when they fell behind on their £198,000 mortgage on a house in Belfast. Inspiration struck the brothers and they launched a High Court appeal using the surprising argument that money no longer exists.

The High Court yesterday

In their action the brothers claimed that following the Gold Standard's abolition and the making of the Bretton Woods Agreement there was no such thing as money, only currency exchanges. In case that wasn't enough, they also argued that even if there was money, they owed it to themselves because they were actually four separate entities, "GF" and "SF", who were men who owed the debt, and "Greg and Stuart of the family Foster", who were "legal persons" and, er, the creditors. Justice Horner confessed he was "unable to follow their novel proposition for which no legal authority was offered".

Horner said the pair's claims amounted "to a full frontal attack on the present financial and legal system". He dismissed their "bold" appeal which he said, given its expense, "they may feel was ill-advised". Not if money isn't real. Wake up, sheeple.