A student with hopes of becoming a solicitor has been jailed for slapping a woman in the face with his penis which, these days, is no longer seen as a good career move by some forward-thinking law firms.

John Dale, a criminology student at Nottingham Trent who dreamed of becoming a lawyer, took an unorthodox approach to gaining legal experience by taking off his clothes at a house party and hitting a sleeping guest across the cheek with his cock.

A friend filmed the event on a mobile phone and showed it to workmates, leading in turn to Dale's arrest. He admitted sexual assault, but when he was given nine months in prison he appealed his sentence. In the Court of Appeal his barrister conceded that although Dale's behaviour was "extremely unpleasant", he received no sexual gratification "where he slaps the flaccid penis on the head of a sleeping woman".

    That defence in full

Burke also said that Dale had agreed to stay away from Nottingham Trent until the object of his afflictions graduated. But the Court of Appeal, which possibly regards staying away from Nottingham as a health tip and not a sacrifice, refused to overturn the lower court's decision and noted that Dale's victim had endured "obvious and significant distress".

Luckily for Dale, prison loves a man who is comfortable with dick gags.
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Comments

Anonymous 31 October 14 09:53

Let's be honest, everyone is "guilty" of doing something like this at uni at one point or another. A (no doubt drunken) error of judgement that has been far too severely punished.

Anonymous 31 October 14 10:39

I wonder whether teabagging would result in the same sentence or whether the force of the slap made this an aggravated offence..

Anonymous 31 October 14 13:34

There was worse than that at pre dinner drinks at a Christmas do of a certain Birmingham firm