A barrister who called the Defence Secretary to warn him that the Queen was going to be blown up by a nuclear bomb is standing trial.

Michael Shrimpton, self-proclaimed defence expert and author of "Spyhunter: The secret history of German intelligence", phoned MP Philip Hammond in the week before the London Olympic Games claiming that the Queen was going to be vaporised at the opening ceremony. He told Hammond that he had information from "credible European sources" including "someone in Munich who lunches with the Pope" that a German terrorist group called DVD had stolen a nuclear missile from the sunken Russian Kursk submarine and smuggled it into Britain. He said it was being stored in a London hospital and would be detonated at the opening ceremony, atomising thousands of spectators, Rowan Atkinson and the monarch.

    One of Shrimpton's supporters yesterday

Shrimpton explained to the minister's stunned aide that VHS DVD had already exploded one nuclear missile, revealing that it had been the real cause of the tsunami disaster in Japan. When he was arrested for making hoax calls Shrimpton told police they were making "a colossal cock-up worthy of an apology, damages and lunch on the MI5".

While he awaits his invite from the spooks, Shrimpton has been appearing at Southwark Crown Court. He has already gone off the reservation interrogating Hammond's former Parliamentary Private Secretary, asking him whether it was true that a number of nuclear missiles had gone missing over the years. Judge McCreath interrupted, "I have no idea where this is going. You have been a barrister for a number of years and you cannot use witnesses as part of your speeches. They are here to answer questions. I will not have conspiracy theories bandied around the court unless they are genuinely real".

In a clear warning to Shrimpton to keep THE TRUTH to himself or risk death from the ruling lizard people, McCreath told him, "You must control yourself. The guillotine is very close to your neck".

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Comments

Roll On Friday 14 November 14 09:25

I don't think the judge should stop questions about if missiles have gone missing. The more you stop questions the more people think there is something to hide.

Anonymous 17 November 14 06:42

Why is he charged with making "hoax calls"? A hoax caller makes a threat, knowing it to be without substance. If this guy, however deluded he may be, actually believed the threat to be true, it is not a hoax call. In addition, if the call recipient did not take the call seriously, because they (probably rightly) believed the caller was a nutter, then again it is not a hoax call. I cannot think of any criminal offence committed for that matter.

I find this trend to waste police and court resources to pursue ludicrous cases like this worrying. Being a conspiracy nutter should not land people in court.

Anonymous 21 November 14 20:21

I agree with 17/11/2014 - it's like the charge of "pretending to practise withcraft" (don't laugh - s.365 of the Crminal Code of Canada). If a person genuinely believes they're practising withcraft, that's a defence. As long as the judge believes the belief is genuine. (Presumably the judge's belief is genuine. I need a drink.)

Anonymous 05 December 14 10:15

The loon was found guilty, but far more seriously he had previously been convicted for possessing child porn. His appeal against that conviction failed. Despite this, the BSB did not suspend the perv until the bomb hoax conviction, sending a great message about protecting the public and the reputation of the profession. Shrimpton is now a presumably soon to be ex barrister. Lord Justice Laws may not be sad to hear this (see his comments on Shrimpton's advocacy in Thoburn v Sunderland City Council).