The first great law commercial of 2015 is an attorney being interrupted by a filthy little puppet.

The advert consists of US attorney Michael A Fiumara talking about his expertise as a criminal lawyer while a doll sits in his lap with its arms aloft. That in itself is strange, but then he introduces her as a "difficult" client named Candy Wolinski and presses her hand, which makes her say, "Oh boy, it's so big".

NSFW

Instead of clarifying that the doll is not impaled on him like a felt warning, Fiumara squeezes Wolinski's hand again, prompting her to sing, "Roses are red, violets are blue, take off your clothes, so I can go down on you". Fiumara demurs, pointing out that it would be against the rules of conduct to, presumably, rub a puppet's head against his crotch on Youtube. Then she says, "Honey I'm bored, let's shave my pussy", at which point Fiumara does stop the recording.



According to her manufacturer Wolinski's real name is Miss Naughty Doll and she will "keep you company on lonely nights -- or shock your friends with her x-rated chatter!" Her "stuffed cloth body sports a revealing red dress and realistic plastic-molded head", so those whose dream partner is an obscene marionette who takes 500 years to break up in landfill can stop looking, if they have $12.95.

Have you been so impressed by your Secret Santa gift that you co-starred with it in a shifty advert? Let RoF know.