The lawyer accused by a judge of looking like "something out of Harry Potter" is to appear before the Solicitors Disciplinary Tribunal.

Alan Blacker or, to give him his preferred title, Dr The Right Honourable The Lord Harley of Counsel of the Most Venerable Order of the Hospital of Saint John of Jerusalem, burst onto the scene in March when he appeared in court with a chest full of medals and ribbons and lush flowing hair. A scandalised (read: jealous) judge took umbrage at Blacker's majesty and the two duelled with wands of words. Words such as "impertinent" and "Do I make myself clear?" and "sorry".

  Lord Blacker: bling, but sorely lacking in visible medals

The encounter brought attention to Blacker's gargantuan LinkedIn profile, which has helped to swell the ranks of his fan club. His featured achievements include:

  • Writing All you wanted to know about medals but were too afraid to ask
  • Also writing Hauling Trailers, the law made simple
  • Being called the "Mozart of the courtroom"
  • And being called "almost a national treasure"
  • And also being called "a phenomenon the like of which one could scarcely imitate"
  • Having a deep interest in "Giraffes and Steam Power"
  • And having completed the University of California's "Was T-Rex Just a Big Chicken?" online assessment
Unfortunately, instead of giving him another medal the SDT has called Blacker to a case management meeting on 4 November in relation to charges brought by the Solicitors Regulation Authority. It is not yet known what the charges are, or if Lord Harley will arrive armed with one of the anti-submarine mortar weapons he claims to have patented.
Tip Off ROF

Comments

Anonymous 02 October 15 13:22

Perhaps the venue should be on his home ground, Hogwarts.

I wonder if he will be calling, Dobby, Alastor 'Mad Eye' Moody and Sirius Black as character witnesses.

Roll On Friday 06 November 15 15:48

The Muggles have discovered your secret master! They know that you only got a third class honours in gingerbread house building from Frogfarts Polytechnic...and are in no way qualified to practice legal magic...

OH THE SHAME!