In a heartbreaking gambit to drum up business, an East Midlands firm has written an article about a family's unpleasant encounter with some poorly-cooked chicken.

Nelsons Solicitors' shipped its story, Clifton Mum Claiming Compensation Over Undercooked Chicken Upset, to local Notts newspapers. It described in alarming detail how two people got the runs from a chicken wing with a yellow blister on it.

    Upset Tum Mum Sues For Faulty Poultry Poos

The guilty chicken was bought from a shop advertising its products as "Top quality - lowest prices", but despite the guarantee dinner ended unsatisfactorily.

  Three days. Three days until they could finish that pack of chicken wings.

In its article, the firm suggested that "as this product has been recalled nationally we expect there to be more cases of food poisoning in Nottingham and beyond". It implored other victims to contact Nelsons "to provide vital witness evidence for the claim". And perhaps give Nelsons another precious rotten meat claim.

  "You found a nipple on your rasher? Oh boy, Nelsons is moving up to the big time!"

Nelsons relays in considerable detail how its clients found themselves in difficulties:

  Too right the aunt "didn't fancy any", she knew where it came from.

Arguably detonating the case for grandad by revealing that he will eat absolutely anything, Nelsons moves on to hypothetical victims:

  "But I love to think of the compensation if he had."

The piece ends with a final plea for those affected by food poisoning to contact the business. Bent double by a Turkey Drummer or barking poison from every orifice, it doesn't matter, just turn up.
Tip Off ROF

Comments

Anonymous 18 August 17 10:03

must be a quiet week at ROF Towers but the tag line "Upset tum mum sues for faulty poultry poos" must be one of the best ever. How long did it take to cook up that zinger?