Wannabe lawyers the world over could do worse than check out the FAQ for Trainees page of Singaporean firm Channeo LLP. It is full of pearls, not least for trainees wanting to do the bare minimum: "Such an attitude will nauseate and be met with the deepest horror".

Here are a few more nuggets of wisdom for aspiring, yet confused, lawyers:

Why am I here?: "We are not competent to answer any questions relating to your place in the universe with the trees and the stars".

Why am I receiving so much work from everybody? "Alas, there is no definite answer to this one. Why is Singapore more successful as a nation than other countries (we are, aren't we)?"

Why am I not receiving work from anybody? "You have to take the initiative - we cannot force lawyers in the firm to commit suicide against their will".

Must I do my own typing? "Yes, to a large extent as computers are operated this way. You will also have to learn to use the mouse".

      Partners Raymond Chan and Monica Neo, telling it like it is

Prospective trainees might also wish to know that from time to time "hearings" will be held in the office where they can "defend" the work they've done, although these "are not meant to embarrass you (we have little time for such luxuries)".

And, finally, Channeo reckons prospective trainees should ask themselves whether they are "physically able or willing to do without sleep". What a marvellous advert for the profession.

Tip Off ROF

Comments

Anonymous 12 April 13 09:46

at least they're honest, rather than dressing themselves up in a load of nonsense about how much (read: little) they care about work-life balance.

Anonymous 12 April 13 09:58

Bonkers, implicitly sadistic (i.e. the fact the partners are revelling in the young lawyers' expected discomfort), and yet seemingly wholly in character for commercial law firms. As RoF says, 'marvellous advert for the profession'.

Anonymous 12 April 13 10:01

It sounds like a great firm. They could pick up some cheap employment lawyers to help with their HR side - there are some available from Pinsents.

Anonymous 12 April 13 10:47

C'mon. It is clearly intended to be a wind-up, and it shows a certain amount of sardonic humour of the kind one reads every day on ROF. Anyone who finds this "sadistic" is someone who can dish it out, but can't take it.

Anonymous 12 April 13 15:21

Having spent a few months in Singapore, I think the local Singapore lawyers are really mean because their seniors treated them like $hit when they were young. It is sad - be it bitterness, post traumatic effect, or an attitude of I'll-pass-what-I got as I have now become the boss. The attitude is that seniors can abuse juniors, keep them at their desk as long as they want, be curt and rude, and not really care. Singapore is a great place but sadly, the work culture operates on an Asian model i.e. no respect for people who you can abuse. This is not driven by frankness or work levels, but by the attitude of abuse.

Anonymous 13 April 13 07:33

I think this is gold!

How good is it that after all of the statements about how useless the trainees are they can't even spell check the FAQs

"3) So why do you take in trainnee?"

They obviously fail on point 1 "(b) you can write (ie. in English)".

Anonymous 13 April 13 07:37

the spelling and tense changes in that FAQs page make be seriously wonder about the author's ability to write in English... what the hell is a trainee?

Do they mean tranny?

Anonymous 13 April 13 16:48

Maybe I'm confused, but aren't comment @ 8.58AM and comment @ 14.21 saying basically the same thing? Yet the first one gets a negative score and the latter a very positive score. Just saying...

Anonymous 13 April 13 19:45

Awful, can't they spell "trainee properly"? This must be one of those small partnerships that routinely gets bollocked by the vastly more competent Big Four firms...

Anonymous 14 April 13 02:57

Having worked in Singapore for some years there is a real culture in local practice of mindless abuse and exploitation, perpetuated over the generations. At least this website is frank and shows that the firm has applied its mind to the development of its junior lawyers. Others operate on the 14 hours a day model without apology or explanation.

Roll On Friday 16 April 13 14:51

Suggesting that prospective trainees ask themselves whether they are "physically able or (rather 'and') willing to do without sleep", is actually good advice. A lot of times, whether you meet a deadline or produce good quality work does come down to this. Anyone who says otherwise is kidding themselves or naive and needs to start talking to trainees in the industry.