One of London's top young barristers has agreed to marry 52-year-old Nespresso salesman George Clooney.

Just nine months after their first date, Clooney presented Doughty Street Chambers' Amal Alamuddin with a seven carat diamond ring. And the pair have a lot in common. Both have an interest in law and languages: Alamuddin is an Oxford-educated human rights lawyer fluent in French and Arabic, while Clooney has dated a law student and an Italian. Both also act, Alamuddin for clients including Julian Assange, Yulia Tymoshenko and the King of Bahrain, and Clooney in a Batman suit with nipples on it.

His best years were ahead of him

The couple didn't get the chance to announce their engagement, however, as Doughty Street Chambers got there first. It released a statement offering "Congratulations to Ms Amal Alamuddin, a member of Chambers". Its website then crashed as thousands of disappointed women with George Clooney calendars rushed to judge her photo.

Rival chambers are understood to now be looking for their own PR coups, with Essex Court having already told its QCs not to come back until they have seduced Scarlett Johansson or, failing that, at least one Cheeky Girl.