A remarkable video has surfaced depicting life at Slaughter and May 33 years ago.

The vintage footage was recorded by a Slaughter and May lawyer, identified only as James in the video, the day before Christmas Eve, 1981. Over 23 minutes he provides a guided tour of the tax department, a world where computers were unknown, smoking in the office was the norm and complimenting a trainee on her bottom was perfectly acceptable.




James begins by approaching some nervous secretaries, to whom he gently explains "it's a moving picture with sound, so you can say something". Knowledge of technology within S&M is as advanced now as it was then.
 

It took years for the partners to swap their shouting funnels for a switchboard

James gives a guided tour of his desk from beneath a smart 80s 'tache and mullet. A PC is notably absent. But that doesn't mean there are no hi-tech gadgets around. "This is my telephone over here and my pencil case and over here is where I do my dictating," he says, picking up a strange machine with a grin. "Hello, one two three".

James (r) and filing cabinet (l)

One of the unfortunate effects of ordering women about in a soft voice with a video camera is James' tendency to sound like he's making a gonzo porn movie. At one point James spies a female trainee retrieving some papers from a drawer. "I've got a lovely view of your behind", he remarks. "Turn around and let's see your face".

Wack-a-wow-wow-wakawow

But it was a more innocent time. Probably. It was a definitely a time when smokers weren't stuffed into a small outside pen.

The whole world was a smoking section

Though some things never change. When James asks one secretary what she's been up to, she answers, "shopping, been to the pub for a drink, got a lot of work to do this afternoon and then I'm going to a party".

There's also evidence that lawyers have always been witty in that... very particular way. James asks a fellow partner, Philip, if he's going to tell a poem or sing a song for the camera. Instead Philip says "well, what I'd like to read to you is possibly the most moving section of the whole of the Taxes Act, section 460. It probably has a more spiritual content and emphasis than any other section." He then proceeds to recite the text. After a while James yawns and leaves the room.

Tax gags were permitted at Christmas

Next up its a trip to the library where "we do have four very attractive young ladies, and Mr Porkfoot" (RoF may have misheard that name).

One of the attractive ladies escaped quickly

While Mr Porkfoot (sp?) is happy to indulge James, other gentleman of seniority are less comfortable in the glare of his mobile daguerreotype. One old boy answers "No" when he's asked to speak and dives out of shot at the first opportunity.

He didn't become a Slaughter and May partner without knowing that the recording box steals your soul

In the hour before the Christmas tax party, some of the gang congregate for a verse of Jingle Bells. Half the choir display the body language of hostages.

Partners did not react well to sudden bright light

On his way to the party James stops off for a stilted conversation with his old supervisor, "who I sat with for six very happy months - how long ago was it now?" "Oh, it must be...several years ago now...when life was very different".

"Except for this picture. That was the same."

Then it's off for a superb chat with an older partner (off-screen) and a young associate, James Barnes.

80s Barnes

"James, about that undertaking for £80 million that you gave unconditionally", jokes the off-screen partner. Quick as a flash Barnes replies, "Well, I gave the name of the partners of Slaughter and May". "I see, that's perfectly satisfactory. I did just put on your own undertaking on the bottom of it as a cross-undertaking. I hope that's alright. With collateral on the Lancia". RoF tracked down Barnes, who is now a real estate partner at Herbies:

Modern Barnes

Barnes was, possibly understandably, rather coy about discussing this video nasty, so it's not known whether he's traded in the Lancia.

These days firms are wary of filming at their Xmas parties. But in 1981 there was no social media, no internet and this was the first moving picture camera Slaughters partners had ever seen. As a result, James captures playful groping, ancient partners competing for a young woman's attention by jigging arthritically at her, a tired and emotional man cursing the camera, and this couple.

It's more consensual than it looks

James finishes his tour reassuring an interviewee that the video is only for his wife (lucky lady). Thankfully someone saw sense after a decent number of decades had passed.

If you've got ancient or modern footage of the unvarnished innards of a law firm, let RoF know.