A company looking for an in-house lawyer in Denver, Colorado has posted a bonkers job description on Craigslist. And if you want the job, get moving now because this potential employer doesn't want to "just fish all day for "The Leader", Lol".

The ad, first revealed by Above The Law, is both remarkably long and particular (you can read the entire thing here). The principal requirements are "self love and love for others", being a "morning person" and a preference for smart clothes over alcohol. What's more, whilst "being athletic is not required...[it] will most certainly make the top of the resume pile. ;)". So it's clear most members of the legal profession need not apply.

The advert elaborates:

"The attorney we hire will not be hateful and spiteful to his/her staff, or hungover and mean. He/She will have tact, skill, grace, and more importantly humor. This is SERIOUS! Lol. We need an attorney who cares about the clients and understands, does not yell or act disgruntled when one calls, or shows other clients just what a burden they are for he/she. Rather, someone humane that understands the clients are truly hurt and sad, and worried and emotional. We need someone with the heart for this. Again, hangovers will not be tolerated."

Staff induction, Denver

This puritanical approach to booze is prevalent throughout. The ad makes it clear that "heavy drinkers will not be tolerated...We are all clean and sober in this company". And although "[we're] not passing judgment on those who enjoy an unhibited lifestyle [sic]...hangovers will not be tolerated...An attorney who prefers wine and beer over nice clothing and good appearance, need not apply".

And those hoping for an office romance will be disappointed as all the company's staff "have boyfriends and girlfriends. We are very together and love what we do". So look, but don't touch. If you're already itching to apply, the salary on offer will only further whet your appetite: "monies paid to staff are at times large sums".