A lawyer in the US has lost his bid to marry a laptop.

Chris Sevier filed the motion in Utah, claiming that he was wrongly refused a marriage licence "for me and my machine-spouse". According to his testimony Sevier fell in love with his Apple computer after it was sold to him without a safe mode. He said that when he mistyped 'Facebook' he was redirected to internet porn, and wild tugging quickly replaced his shock. "Naturally, I ‘fell in love’ with my computer", he claimed, "and preferred having sex with it over all other persons or things".

    Granny approved of Chris' new girlfriend, despite the glowing rectangular eye, black teeth and filthy language.
It is not the first time the lawyer, whose licence to practise was suspended in 2011 for mental health reasons, has used his one-handed hobby to get into court. Last year Sevier sued Apple for allowing him access to the porn, because it gave him unrealistic expectations of sex which caused his wife to divorce him. He was unsuccessful.

Judge Robert Hale decided the troubled wanker's latest stunt was either a "satirical" attempt to derail a case challenging the state's same-sex marriage ban "or perhaps it is only removed from reality". Hale dismissed the motion, before retiring to chambers to see if he could misspell Facebook correctly.
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