I got one not too long ago, to the more or less literal effect that I sometimes give the impression that in agreeing to perform legal work I feel I am doing the world a huge favour.
from about 2003 - from a partner i worked for "please can you be careful in your emails to audit partners, they don't always understand long words" (i think the word in question was actually quite short, only 6 letters)
from about 2005 - from a client "you're extremely expensive but very good value".
I had "you put too much effort into the presentation - it should have been 3 or 4 slides".
It was 4 slides, and a 2-page note. The brief was "this is a 15 mins presentation - it's vitally important we land the key points and do it comprehensively".
Not feedback but someone junior though older who thought observing ‘you do very detailed work’ was somehow a burn. Currently residing in the “Where Are They Now?” file.
I saw someone's annual appraisal that actually started by saying Joe Bloggs has nothing to offer the organisation. Punchy start, but to be fair the author had the evidence to back it up.
I don’t have a line manager. I mean, I must do but I’ve no idea who it is. And tbh I must be a dream to manage: I’m a top performer and a big revenue generator but also a great team member.
Was called a natural closer (of transactions) once by a slightly alarmed looking partner who clearly felt it was sometimes at the expense of some delicacy and finesse
I don’t often make fvck ups (and when I have done they have tended to be on process, not on technical issues) but when I did get any feedback on such things when more junior I am sure I responded with stuff such as “Noted, thanks” or “good spot”. This seems fairly natural to me, and a blithe nonchalance is of course one mark of the great deal lawyer; I’d be happy enough if a junior responded like this provided I believed they really did understand the issue, but I’d be interested in what response others expect.
my first seat supervisor was a bit of a dick and once gave me a bollocking over something that Inknew did not matter, and when it turned out not to matter, I said “oh, looks like I was right after all”. And he gave me some shit about how I don’t get to chat back to him on stuff like that. Er, well unless you going to tape my mouth shut m99, guess what, I very much do.
In a clanging cliché I was told to be less bossy, by one of the most aggressive men I've ever encountered. I agreed to give that feedback the attention it deserved.
When I was an associate at CC, a very good friend of mine came out of an appraisal meeting with a partner and immediately sought me out, bursting into my room laughing at what had just happened then recounted this story. I have scripted it. He gave up being a lawyer and went on to write comedy. He won a Bafta a few years later. He might have produced a better script. But it still makes me laugh. Especially when you consider that the partner who was running this non-conversation was the world's biggest idiot.
Partner: so, do you ever have those moments where your career is like driving a car and you're going along and think "I should move up from first gear to second".
Him: no I don't.
Partner: right.
Him: I love driving though.
Partner: good, good. So do I.
Him: good.
Partner: so, when you're driving, do you ever find you're just not going fast enough and you want to go faster?
Him: nope. I drive like a lunatic most of the time.
Partner: ok, well looking at it from a work perspective, do you find you are going fast enough?
Him: yes, I think so. Any faster and I'd probably start making mistakes. Is this about how long it takes me to do stuff?
Partner: no no I was just
Him: Oh because I've always thought this place was all about taking plenty of time about stuff so you charge enough. If I did it faster I'd make less money for the firm, see?
Partner: yes, no, I mean, look it wasn't about how fast you do the work. It was about how fast your career is going.
Him: I'm only 29.
Partner: yes but do you feel you are developing well.
Him: yes, don't you?
Partner: do you feel like, in driving terms, you could move up from second to third like I said? Him: you said first to second.
Partner: yes, but maybe second to third? Him: still no, not really.
Partner: what about third to
Him: wait, I think I know where you're going with this. You want to know if I feel ready to move from third to fourth
Partner: yes, exactly.
Him: still no.
Partner: let's move away from this analogy. Imagine you were an olympic runner.
Him: ok, I'm imagining.
Partner: do you feel that you could pick up the pace and overtake the rest on the bend? Him: no, because I imagined I was a 100 meters runner. There isn't a bend.
Partner: right. Well if you were an 800 meters runner, could you do the next lap faster and run away with the gold medal?
Him: I thought this wasn't about speed?
Partner: it isn't. It's about performance. It's about pace.
Him: pace and speed are the same thing.
Partner: ok, it's about ambition. Don't you want to win a gold medal in the Olympic 800m race or are you happy taking silver or bronze?
Him: no, I don't. I became a lawyer not an athlete.
Partner: I don't think we are getting anywhere are we.
Him: no, not really. I can see the problem here. Let me ask you a question....
Partner: go on
Him: Do you ever feel in these conversations you need to go up from first gear to second?
I made the mistake of following a partner to a well marketed firm that was fifth rate behind the scenes. I was at something like 150% utilisation, basically arriving each morning at 7:30, never leaving my desk to do more than get a sandwich, and then going home at midnight plus, all in order to cover for a lazy useless moron that was the sole partner in the dept I moved into. They made you go for mentor meetings with a random senior partner every 2 weeks regardless of the fact you had fook all time, and this dick (by name and nature) said I had not "been [firm]ised enough."
I immediately found another job, then handed in my notice at 4:55 pm on the second last day of a three month probation period immediately terminable on either side and left the office for good.
A partner told me, “You’re in the wrong job!” in an apparently congratulatory tone. Sometimes I worry there are meetings going on where he says to the others, “Well, I told her but she’s not taking the hint What now?”
when I left a large law firm as a new peeker in late 90s to go IH a particularly spiteful senior partner said to me at my leaving do...you are making a big mistake, enjoy the fanfare while it lasts, because it won't.
I remember about 15 years later after I'd made a few lion, seeing him in Decathlon of all places...a frail old man clearly with dementia and thinking heh it's lasted longer than you will pal.
Back in the bar work days, I did once complain about a particular useless staff member that she was only hired because the manager thought she might shag him. To be told that's what I was hired for too.
Me (while on a business trip with the partner / supervisor): my 3 months probationary period ended yesterday. Could you pls do a review and confirm if I am confirmed?
Partner: You are on a business trip with me. What do you think?
Without wanting to out myself with a pic, yesterday I was dressed in blue jeans with a bright blue jumper. Obviously it’s freezing fooking cold so I put on my bright red Arsenal woollen hat when popping out for school run and errands. Yes I have a beard which is greying a little.
I was most disappointed in myself that it took me a few instances to understand why 13 yr old Worfette had taken to calling me “Papa Smurf”.
Not part of any formal feedback, but I guess I should feel flattered when a partner said to me, "Shouldn't you be out there curing cancer or something?"
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from about 2003 - from a partner i worked for "please can you be careful in your emails to audit partners, they don't always understand long words" (i think the word in question was actually quite short, only 6 letters)
from about 2005 - from a client "you're extremely expensive but very good value".
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nice
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I had "you put too much effort into the presentation - it should have been 3 or 4 slides".
It was 4 slides, and a 2-page note. The brief was "this is a 15 mins presentation - it's vitally important we land the key points and do it comprehensively".
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Can you imagine being laz’s line manager…..
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'Please don't try and install and configure a complex piece of software whilst under the influence of the diazepam ever again'.
Fair.
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I don’t listen to feedback
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Not feedback but someone junior though older who thought observing ‘you do very detailed work’ was somehow a burn. Currently residing in the “Where Are They Now?” file.
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If he’s not on the 5:19
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I saw someone's annual appraisal that actually started by saying Joe Bloggs has nothing to offer the organisation. Punchy start, but to be fair the author had the evidence to back it up.
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I don’t have a line manager. I mean, I must do but I’ve no idea who it is. And tbh I must be a dream to manage: I’m a top performer and a big revenue generator but also a great team member.
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Oh, wait - I remember when I was about 5pqe reviewing something that my 1st seater trainee had done and they made a single, but basic error.
He looked at it, and nodded wisely, then looked at me earnestly and said "good spot".
Fell of my chair laughing.
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Was called a natural closer (of transactions) once by a slightly alarmed looking partner who clearly felt it was sometimes at the expense of some delicacy and finesse
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hmm. i've got a colleague who when somebody points out their fvck ups goes "thank you. noted".
anyway they're now exiting the organisation.
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Who cares if there’s a fook up though, unless it’s deliberate?
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what would you prefer them to say, clubbo?
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I don’t often make fvck ups (and when I have done they have tended to be on process, not on technical issues) but when I did get any feedback on such things when more junior I am sure I responded with stuff such as “Noted, thanks” or “good spot”. This seems fairly natural to me, and a blithe nonchalance is of course one mark of the great deal lawyer; I’d be happy enough if a junior responded like this provided I believed they really did understand the issue, but I’d be interested in what response others expect.
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my first seat supervisor was a bit of a dick and once gave me a bollocking over something that Inknew did not matter, and when it turned out not to matter, I said “oh, looks like I was right after all”. And he gave me some shit about how I don’t get to chat back to him on stuff like that. Er, well unless you going to tape my mouth shut m99, guess what, I very much do.
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A colleague in another department once received the feedback 'You have many strengths but may be happier in either a larger or smaller firm'.
We had to explain to him what that meant in the pub afterwards.
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In a clanging cliché I was told to be less bossy, by one of the most aggressive men I've ever encountered. I agreed to give that feedback the attention it deserved.
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When I was an associate at CC, a very good friend of mine came out of an appraisal meeting with a partner and immediately sought me out, bursting into my room laughing at what had just happened then recounted this story. I have scripted it. He gave up being a lawyer and went on to write comedy. He won a Bafta a few years later. He might have produced a better script. But it still makes me laugh. Especially when you consider that the partner who was running this non-conversation was the world's biggest idiot.
Partner: so, do you ever have those moments where your career is like driving a car and you're going along and think "I should move up from first gear to second".
Him: no I don't.
Partner: right.
Him: I love driving though.
Partner: good, good. So do I.
Him: good.
Partner: so, when you're driving, do you ever find you're just not going fast enough and you want to go faster?
Him: nope. I drive like a lunatic most of the time.
Partner: ok, well looking at it from a work perspective, do you find you are going fast enough?
Him: yes, I think so. Any faster and I'd probably start making mistakes. Is this about how long it takes me to do stuff?
Partner: no no I was just
Him: Oh because I've always thought this place was all about taking plenty of time about stuff so you charge enough. If I did it faster I'd make less money for the firm, see?
Partner: yes, no, I mean, look it wasn't about how fast you do the work. It was about how fast your career is going.
Him: I'm only 29.
Partner: yes but do you feel you are developing well.
Him: yes, don't you?
Partner: do you feel like, in driving terms, you could move up from second to third like I said?
Him: you said first to second.
Partner: yes, but maybe second to third?
Him: still no, not really.
Partner: what about third to
Him: wait, I think I know where you're going with this. You want to know if I feel ready to move from third to fourth
Partner: yes, exactly.
Him: still no.
Partner: let's move away from this analogy. Imagine you were an olympic runner.
Him: ok, I'm imagining.
Partner: do you feel that you could pick up the pace and overtake the rest on the bend?
Him: no, because I imagined I was a 100 meters runner. There isn't a bend.
Partner: right. Well if you were an 800 meters runner, could you do the next lap faster and run away with the gold medal?
Him: I thought this wasn't about speed?
Partner: it isn't. It's about performance. It's about pace.
Him: pace and speed are the same thing.
Partner: ok, it's about ambition. Don't you want to win a gold medal in the Olympic 800m race or are you happy taking silver or bronze?
Him: no, I don't. I became a lawyer not an athlete.
Partner: I don't think we are getting anywhere are we.
Him: no, not really. I can see the problem here. Let me ask you a question....
Partner: go on
Him: Do you ever feel in these conversations you need to go up from first gear to second?
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I just want to say that the subtle Tap reference on here have not gone un-noticed and are very much appreciated and respected.
Bertha and Tom take a bow.
what's wrong with being sexy?
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Sorry about the bold
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Good spot is how you praise a junior for finding something you missed. It does not flow the other way.
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That bold is gold, Mutters.
I worked for a partner doing niche work about whom Legal 500 said: “He polarises the market “.
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well, not if you’re a humourless status obsessed git, no
so perhaps not the lowest risk strategy to adopt if you work for a law firm
but I like juniors with confidence and a bit of strut
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I was asked not to bill so much as it making some of the senior equity bods look like failures
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I made the mistake of following a partner to a well marketed firm that was fifth rate behind the scenes. I was at something like 150% utilisation, basically arriving each morning at 7:30, never leaving my desk to do more than get a sandwich, and then going home at midnight plus, all in order to cover for a lazy useless moron that was the sole partner in the dept I moved into. They made you go for mentor meetings with a random senior partner every 2 weeks regardless of the fact you had fook all time, and this dick (by name and nature) said I had not "been [firm]ised enough."
I immediately found another job, then handed in my notice at 4:55 pm on the second last day of a three month probation period immediately terminable on either side and left the office for good.
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mime is money
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Christ nana.
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I had from my old boss
'You are mightily clever but you seem to have a serious problem with authority. We have company therapy. Maybe you should have therapy?'
I thought that was the weirdest gaslighting ever. Go to therapy so you stop pointing out when MBA people don't know what they're talking about.
'No Muggo! The emperor IS wearing clothes! You just have to IMAGINE the clothes!'
'righto'.
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You can't really dust for vomit.
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heh
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A partner told me, “You’re in the wrong job!” in an apparently congratulatory tone. Sometimes I worry there are meetings going on where he says to the others, “Well, I told her but she’s not taking the hint What now?”
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when I left a large law firm as a new peeker in late 90s to go IH a particularly spiteful senior partner said to me at my leaving do...you are making a big mistake, enjoy the fanfare while it lasts, because it won't.
I remember about 15 years later after I'd made a few lion, seeing him in Decathlon of all places...a frail old man clearly with dementia and thinking heh it's lasted longer than you will pal.
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I mean I actually did because I don't think he can laugh anymore
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heh, i love the 100ms comment.
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I was once fed back that I didn't look stressed enough and it was causing stress to the rest of the department.
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Back in the bar work days, I did once complain about a particular useless staff member that she was only hired because the manager thought she might shag him. To be told that's what I was hired for too.
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I was once told that “despite doing the work well, you don’t look like you care enough”.
I mean 💅🏽
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"I sometimes give the impression that in agreeing to perform legal work I feel I am doing the world a huge favour."
I love this. It is how I felt every time I was given a new piece of work to do.
Sometimes I wonder whether Laz and I are distantly related ...
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as a 2nd seat trainee:
Your e-mails to the managing partner were impolitic
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Lol @ all this though
I was told I was too good and making everyone else look bad
Solid roffing
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D’you want the options again?
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Oh I forgot about the partner trainee who objected to me deciding their answers were wrong. See this sandwich? I can’t work with this.
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You should have seen the cover they *wanted* to do. It wasn't a glove, believe me
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We’re cancelled here in Boston. But it’s no big deal, it’s not a big college town.
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"This isn't a bollocking. Actually, it is a bollocking."
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Back during my pp days.
Me (while on a business trip with the partner / supervisor): my 3 months probationary period ended yesterday. Could you pls do a review and confirm if I am confirmed?
Partner: You are on a business trip with me. What do you think?
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Great to see so many alums of the Ian Faith School of Management this early in the morning
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Tom...I'm struggling to place the d'you want the options again line....please assist
she should be made to smell it just not over and over again
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Without wanting to out myself with a pic, yesterday I was dressed in blue jeans with a bright blue jumper. Obviously it’s freezing fooking cold so I put on my bright red Arsenal woollen hat when popping out for school run and errands. Yes I have a beard which is greying a little.
I was most disappointed in myself that it took me a few instances to understand why 13 yr old Worfette had taken to calling me “Papa Smurf”.
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That I had to stop fondling the juniors!!!! As if!!!!
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Not part of any formal feedback, but I guess I should feel flattered when a partner said to me, "Shouldn't you be out there curing cancer or something?"
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Sorry Ego, I segued into Keith’s appraisal from the office there.
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I had a sleepless night because of that!
Also a classic...is that the gnome/dwarf scene?
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oh no...how did you perform above/below etc...got it
a good idea is a good idea forever
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Not from work, but I still treasure an A-level teacher's response to my getting a very basic question entirely wrong.
We were only a few weeks away from the exams, and I clearly was not at the races.
Surveying me with infinite sadness, he sighed, and said:
"______________, it's high time you climbed down your proverbial gum-tree, and started whittling away at the giant redwood of your ignorance."
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heh @ all the rofers whose best feedback tale is getting told YOU’RE JUST TOO GOOD, DAMNIT
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