This week's entry adds a streak of blue to the Dodgy Solicitor Top Trumps after splurging over £100,000 of his clients' money on porn.
Andrew Taylor owned a firm which specialised in wills and powers of attorney. He was also a judo coach, treasurer of the local cricket club, chairman of the civic society and all-round pillar of the Cheadle community. But sadly between 2011 and 2013 he also let his wanking spin out of control and used his powers of attorney to loot clients' bank accounts to fund webcam sex sessions and calls to adult chat lines.
Taylor blamed his addiction on not being able to sleep after a hip operation, coupled with the side effects of his Parkinsons medication. It must have been powerful stuff. As well as spending £108,089 of his elderly clients' money on grot, the insomniac self-pleasurer also made generous donations to the cam sex escorts of up to £30,000 per girl. He also splashed £85,000 of his clients' money on ebay buying cricket memorabilia, pottery and pens and settled an £80,000 tax bill. In total Taylor stole £623,920.
The jury heard how seven of Taylor's victims died before his case came to court. After he nicked £3,000 from one 87-year-old, there wasn't enough money to pay for her funeral until the local council agreed to subsidise it.
Taylor admitted using the accounts to fund a "play account" which he used to (chuck his) "muck around". Jailing him for four years, Mr Justice Peter Openshaw said the money had been "squandered on various sexual excesses" and branded his purchases "absurd extravagances". He accepted that Taylor's "compulsive behaviour" probably was due to the drugs, but that he should have got help.
Tip Off ROF
Andrew Taylor owned a firm which specialised in wills and powers of attorney. He was also a judo coach, treasurer of the local cricket club, chairman of the civic society and all-round pillar of the Cheadle community. But sadly between 2011 and 2013 he also let his wanking spin out of control and used his powers of attorney to loot clients' bank accounts to fund webcam sex sessions and calls to adult chat lines.
Taylor blamed his addiction on not being able to sleep after a hip operation, coupled with the side effects of his Parkinsons medication. It must have been powerful stuff. As well as spending £108,089 of his elderly clients' money on grot, the insomniac self-pleasurer also made generous donations to the cam sex escorts of up to £30,000 per girl. He also splashed £85,000 of his clients' money on ebay buying cricket memorabilia, pottery and pens and settled an £80,000 tax bill. In total Taylor stole £623,920.
Taylor admitted using the accounts to fund a "play account" which he used to (chuck his) "muck around". Jailing him for four years, Mr Justice Peter Openshaw said the money had been "squandered on various sexual excesses" and branded his purchases "absurd extravagances". He accepted that Taylor's "compulsive behaviour" probably was due to the drugs, but that he should have got help.
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True story. I had just said, knowing his proclivities, "This is Google. You can use it to find ANYTHING.".
A week later (this was in the days of dial up), he comes into the office and says "I've got this thing that's a picture of a pair of tits, and something else keeps trying to call a random number on my modem". I explained that the two were linked, and he's been looking at the wrong sites.
Creepy bugger, he was.
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I find this remark deeply offensive.
People don't trust lawyers because we obfuscate, do a half-arsed job based on somewhat inadequate qualifications we obtained many years ago, pad bills, squeeze money out of clients through unnecessary and expensive work, and generally go around acting like incompetent, lazy shysters.
The fact that we are also chronic, pathological masterbaters, while true, is hardly the key reason people don't trust us. You should and must retract the slur on our profession.