advice for a fatty

so getting a bit down about myself

have struggled with my weight all my life, can never stick to a plan etc.

What has worked for anyone whos been through a similar journey? for context i am probably what you call "skinny fat" i.e. normal weight but love handles and a pouch (think hour glass - not good for a male!)

I enjoy my peleton bike but hate weight training so wanna avoid


thanks :(



Eliminate all processed foods, sugar and alcohol (but eat as much as you like of anything else).  

Do strength training for 20-30 mins each morning and evening.

Sleep early, get up early. 

  Do all the above for a month and you will notice a real difference. 


Do 10 miles a day on the bike, religiously, for 6-8 weeks and I guarantee you'll be a stone lighter at least.

As is mine. I'm 6'4" and 18 stone-ish for reference. But I could easily stand to lose a stone, as this thread implies you think you could.

First bit of advice would be a bit kinder to yourself

second but would be to get an app like my fitness pal to tel you what calories are in what you are eating

third but of advice would be to cook your own meals. Get a joe wicks cooking in 15 minutes book

Fourth  bit of advice would be to do some exercise, any really, 3-4 times a week. Anything. Even if just 15 mins a day



If you're anything like me, my metabolism seemingly ground to a spluttering halt right around 40. Used to be able to eat any old shite and work it off, now can't so much as look at a 5 Guys without putting on half a pound.

As GeneralLee said, it's all about fresh ingredients and home-cooking & the like. Avoid anything processed. Sad, but true.

Martial arts. 

Something on the faster side, karate,  taekwondo or muay Thai spring to mind. Find a good dojo where there is a sizeable portion of conditioning. Old style sit ups, push ups, burpees and then all the specific training. Your fitness levels will improve drastically. It is fun. You will get a kick from learning a skill (pun intended haha). Will meet other people. It will give you confidence. And put you in great shape.


Eating, over/under, is an emotional response. I don't think it gets resolved by dieting. But by you feeling happy in yourself that end up making healthy choices. That doesn't mean taste less rice cakes all the time. Honestly. I think stringent diets makes things so much worse in the medium to long term. Healthy just means balanced, IMO. 

Train with people, whatever sport you do. Build your confidence by being at one with yourself. As Generalee says, be kinder to yourself. I think martial arts give a focus than can be a catalyst for some healthy changes but do something that interests you and makes you happy. Sounds corny.. but I stand by it :)

Lots of exercise obvs. Someone on here recommended the one meal a day diet. I found this really good. Easy to follow and to stick to. I cheated a bit and had a smoothie for breakfast and fruit during day. I am going back on it tomorrow. 

Eat better do more.  Shunning sandwiches at lunchtime for salads and soups and walking the dog every evening was enough to shift a few pounds.

Run for an hour every other day. One bottle of wine a week. Walk everywhere. Porridge for breakfast.

Job done.

I'd sub the wine in that example for something like gin and slimline tonic for a bit too. Wine is pretty calorific by volume.

So what do you want to do?

Just get rid of love handles?

Or increase your fitness?

It’s very difficult to change shape without doing weights, particularly in later life.

Calling bullshit on this now, poor grammar and all. But you sound like a bit of a drip even if you are real, and if you're built like a fat elderly woman at this point in life, it's probably too late to address.

If you're a person playing out a character, well.  

If you want to lose weight and keep it off, you need to reduce what you eat and exercise more (cardio and weight training) FOREVER.  Not a month, or two months, or six months. 

A little tip - look for small gains instead of big changes. So walking 20 mins a day extra and cutting a few beers, one takeaway etc.

Add that to an exercise regime and reap the rewards 

Often people think 3/4 times in the gym for 60 mins burns a lot of calories and it does, but simple wins make it easier.

Got to be consistent though

It’s more about what you eat than exercise but weight training really helps. Just do it at home with a few dumb bells and using your own body weight. Take the diet advice  given by others. I’m on this quest too but am taking steroids for a health issue and an a stone over my normal weight. Hate it. 

Find a better fidget habit. 

During the day stress stops me wanting to eat.  In evenings arguing with complete strangers and internet chess helps.

If you fidget habit is actually productive then you are made.

During the day stress stops me wanting to eat.  In evenings arguing with complete strangers and internet chess helps.


I think I'm in love.

I'd ignore Transdimensional_Sex_Bee15 Jun 22 22:04.  What a dick.

I think there is some great advice about eliminate all processed foods, sugar and alcohol (but eat as much as you like of anything else).  

I also think there is some truth in "Eating, over/under, is an emotional response".

In my view:

- first line of attack is diet (go plant protein based as much as you can, I am not a vegan, I am not even vegetarian! but I see sense in plant based protein)

- consider on a stress basis the extent to which your diet is emotional eating - everyone does it at some point and in some way (food and drinks) be honest and aware when you do it;

- focus first on reconstituting your diet (before addressing exercise).

The exercise bit comes after - maybe con-current a bit but once your body is a bit recalibrated with healthier foods it feels easier to move it.

Well that is just my experience.

There is a thing in strength / resistence training. It depends where you are at tho. 

I would say revamping your diet and then moving much more than you were before is the first goal.  Weight lifting etc can wait.

"Appetite-suppressant stimulant. So, meth or cocaine"


living on black coffee and malboro lights for my A level years made me realise all those decades ago there is no short cut whatsoever to a "healthy body" however slim I was.

You might be slim but you can also be super dupa unhealthy and literally ignorant about how to eat well to sustaine and nourish yourself.

I never said it was healthy. Just never stop doing it and you’ll always look trim.

Mind the psychosis, tho

All the above plus sleep properly. Give yourself the opportunity for a full eight hours every night. 

yes agreed about sleep being a massive factor (she says as lights out at 1am)  I know in my head what i don't put into action in my heart and all that...

Changing diet has more impact on weight than exercise. If you struggle to stick to plans, start with a food diary. Write down everything, and I mean every food or drink item you consume. It forces you to confront what you actually consume, and you will start to leave things alone rather than write them down. A physical notebook is best, but it needs to be on you all the time so phone notes might be right for you. If you are meticulous it will work. 

Add whichever exercises you enjoy, just more of it.

Good luck

Eat less and better, exercise more. The exercise needs to include some form of resistance training but it needn't be heavy weights unless you particularly want to build significant muscle. Body weight (particularly TRX type stuff) is fine if you just hate weights. 

As a bloke in your 40s the truth (sad or otherwise depending on how much you like or dislike exercise and how much you love food and booze) is that you won't be in good shape without exercising at least 3 to 4 hours a week and eating at least moderately healthily. 

 To actually lose fat in a reasonable period of time you will probably either have to actively diet (i.e. be hungry some of the time) for a bit or do a lot of cardio for a bit.  I prefer extra cardio personally but it is a longer road and you still have to not eat sh1t. Most people just can't out train a diet of burgers and beer in their 40s. 

To be honest if your body likes to carry love handles (and mine does as well) it may well be more hassle than it is worth to get rid of them completely. Getting much below 18% body fat for most people in their 40s is a ballsache frankly (particularly if you like a drink) and if your body likes to carry fat round the middle you'll probably have to get down 15% to convince it to stop. 

Sorry, not sure where i got the idea that you were in your 40s (though most rofers seem to be these days). If you are in your 20s then its all a bit easier for most people. 

Good advice from Donny. It’s a lot easier to make enough cardio a part of your life and still enjoy food, rather than forever counting calories and being hungry. 

As someone who has lost 3 stone and kept it off, with food I find it’s the little decisions.  So if I’m eating out and I want a burger, get more salad instead of chips.  Or have 2 beers and call it a day.  Or have a wholewheat wrap instead of white bread, snack on protein or fruit/veg rather than carbs or junk food.  Chicken and fish instead of salty/fatty red meat.  And over the years you get the benefit.

Doesnt mean I never have chips or 8 beers, I just usually moderate myself day to day.  And eventually it becomes preference and doesn’t feel like a hardship.



Accepting hiccups is important too.  If you’ve lost a stone but go on holiday and put 6lbs back on, just see if for what it is and get back on it, within a week you’ll have lost that all again and can carry on.


Christ I’m boring myself now.

Move to the country where there is always some outdoor physical task that needs doing.  Saying that my back has only just forgiven me for getting over confident and trying to shift a large lump of tree on my own.

Find an active hobby although perhaps not sailing where every boat is stocked with crisps and chocolate to sustain the crew whilst racing.

I need to slim down following a blood test. Started a food diary this morning. In my case I got injured a year ago and got depressed so ate. For other reasons haven't been sleeping so eat for energy. Also post lockdown got me into eating out which I did little of before. Inflation is helping with this last one tbf.

It's true when they say you can't out exercise a bad diet. You'll likely only burn 300-400 calories in a work out which can easily be swallowed up in a few pints or a slice of cake or whatever (both of which you are more likely to feel that you 'deserve' after a workout.) Plus the calorie burn is a false economy as your body will slow down your metabolism to adapt.

If you are going to do any exercise I'd recommend weights, but you don't actually have to do any exercise at all to shift timber. It also depends what your dietary vices are. I eat well but drink too much, so if I want/need to lose a few pounds I have to cut back on the wine. Making drastic changes aren't sustainable so make smaller ones to begin with - do you drink calorific milky/sugary drinks? They are easy to get rid of/swap for healthier alternatives without feeling like a huge sacrifice. Sometimes when you think you are hungry, make sure that you're not just thirsty. Start making little cutbacks and as you start to see results, which you will, you can decide whether you want to implement stricter ones. 

I can relate to the comments about it being largely emotional too. Sounds wild, but the more I obsess about my weight (I was big growing up and had eating disorders throughout my twenties but am in good shape now) the more I tend to hold on to it. When I am happy and relaxed I generally look better. Something to do with cortisol apparently, I'm not sure of the details. 

I enjoy my peleton bike but hate weight training so wanna avoid


Everyone hates weight training until they get into it.  It's by far the best thing for weight loss as it long-term increases the amount of energy you burn just doing everything else in your day to day life.  Certainly think starting to lift heavy weights is the easiest, highest-impact and most sustainable change you can make not just for your weight loss but your health in general.  Also women dig strong guys (literally all of them, any who claim otherwise are lying) and in my personal experience you feel much better about yourself being strong than you do running a sub-40 10k or being able to cycle a certain distance.

I am much happier being able to run a distance quickly than I am lifting stuff which just gets dull.  At least running there's stuff to look at.

I lost 5 stone to go from 18 stone to 13 stone (I’m 6 foot 1).  I have never mentioned it before because I don’t like to talk about it 😄.  I’ve put some back on in muscle. This is what worked for me:

(1) initially doing a quack diet thing called the C-9 with my wife.  It’s brutal but it does work.  I lost a stone in 9 days.  Once you lose a sizeable amount and people start noticing you look better it gets addictive

(2) when that ended, sticking religiously to a 1500 calorie per day limit and doing exercise every single day.  Porridge pot for breakfast, ryvita with benecol and marmite for lunch and something decent for dinner.  Snacks are raw vegetables or occasionally fruit.  Exercise for me was a turbo train

(3) go running regularly.  Even if it’s painful at first or short distances.  Once you start losing more weight you’ll realise how much easier it is, and again this is addictive.  When I lost 4 stone running became something like being on “cheat mode”

(4) once you’ve lost a decent amount of weight you’ll start to want to tone up.  The quickest way to change your body shape is weights.  You might not enjoy it now but I’d be willing to bet nobody has taught you how to do it properly.  It isn’t a matter of going in and trying to lift the heaviest weights possible.  Find your right weight and reps combination for what you want to achieve and where you want to tone and gradually build it up.  I’m lucky as I have a gym, but some free weights in a stand takes up very little room and can be done in even the smallest space.  Invest in a few personal trainer sessions if you can afford it and they will show you how and what to lift.  The plus side for me is that weights isn’t constant exercise so I take my work phone with me and work between reps.  And I’m ROFing now from the hotel gym.

I am an addict and had (and probably still have) an unhealthy relationship with food.  I thought I would just be fat forever.  If I can do it, literally anybody can.  Good luck with it!

(Also running / events gives you something to target and a reason not to slip back.  When I booked a half Ironman I didn’t really think I was going to be able to do it, but it’s amazing what you can do when you make progress and want to achieve the next thing)

Change your eating habits. Cut out processed foods, limit starches like bread, potatoes & white rice. Eat less meat & more veggies/fruit, Cut back or stop adding salt & sugar to your foods. If you're like me & have a sweet tooth, find alternate, more healthy versions of your favorite snacks or make your own.

Go for a walk every day after supper. 1/2 an hour one way then back again.Set realistic goals. Keep goal planner

I think a lot of people go into dieting with a mentality of “I’m going to diet constantly until I hit my goal weight” and either end up stopping along the way or putting the weight back on within a year or two of reaching their goal. What I have found that helped me was stopping my diet every 3-4 weeks and having a period just trying to maintain that particular weight before I start up again on my diet. And keep goal planner at same time. It has helped me keep things under control and it’s nice to have a little break from a diet every once in awhile.

I know everybody on ROF says or believes this but this is true: I am the most qualified person by far to advise you on this (Certainly on ROF, possibly in the world).

The advice on this thread is good, but with my wisdom on this subject I am going to add more and better content, even though some of it may be repetition.

The absolute fundamental starting point is: to lose weight, you will be hungry. Weight loss is 90% diet. You could do 1,000 push-ups a day and eat badly and your six pack will be less evident than a person who does 0 push-ups (or any weight training whatsoever) and eats healthily enough to have low body fat.

There is no magic bullet to weight loss. It can only be done with a calorie deficit, and that entails hunger. Accept that you will be hungry frequently and you can succeed. Hunger really isn’t that bad. It’s surprising how far people will go to avoid it when you consider that it isn’t that unpleasant a feeling. It’s nowhere near to being painful. Yet many people will go through the intense pain of working out extremely instead (“No pain, no gain” etc).

Beyond this principle, the key tips I can suggest are:

1. Eat little and often. If you do this you can slow your metabolism down. You can eat an apple and avoid hunger for a few hours. Congrats, you just burned 100 calories more than you consumed. Keep that up all day and you will lose weight. Every first time you feel hungry, drink a glass of water. Every second time, drink a cup of tea (the dash of milk is a small source of energy). The third time, eat a fruit or something else under 100 calories. The 4th time, a small meal. By doing this you may be able to eat just 2 small meals a day (assuming that you do no exercise).

2. Weigh yourself often. Once a day is good (at the same time of day) or even twice a day, as long as you appreciate that you should only compare your weight based on the same time of day. We weigh more at night as we’re more hydrated. Weighing yourself often gives yourself more motivation to diet, and it gives you little wins, eg if you lose 100g in 24 hours, that feels good. That’s quite easy and it translates to 3kg a month which is good progress. Don’t expect to do better than that. Yes, you might lose 500g in a day but it’s probably mostly water. The next day you might “inexplicably” gain 300g. That’s good progress, if that happens every 2 days, and it may do. Weighing yourself every day is only a good way to maintain your motivation. Don’t take any of the short term gains or losses to heart.

3. (As others have said) focus on getting as good a sleep as possible. We actually lose most weight when we sleep. If you go for a long run, you are losing water weight only. You need to hydrate enough that you are nearly the same weight that you were when you started. It is then overnight that you lose the weight. Strangely, you lose this weight in your breath. Your body breaks down fat and breathes it out. It does this much better in your sleep. I have weighed myself before and after going to bed lots of times, and I have found that when I slept well, I lost a lot of weight. If you sleep badly (or not at all) you can actually weigh the same when you wake up. Your body just isn’t doing the work unless you are asleep. But more importantly, when we are sleep deprived our willpower is weakened. It becomes very easy to just eat 200g of chocolate without thinking about it. You need the sleep to keep your willpower up sufficiently to fight hunger.

4. Exercise, which I won’t cover here. I just don’t want to give the impression that you should just be starving yourself. Exercise is crucial to health. Just don’t rely on it for weight loss. It’s about 10% of weight loss. Diet is 90%. There are actually people who eat badly and then go to extreme lengths to burn the calories they never needed, eg running a marathon every day. That is technically sustainable, and these people can be both slim and healthy for as long as they can keep it up, but mental health experts regard this as a form of binging. These people have serious eating disorders. It’s much more healthy to be at the other end of the eating spectrum. But do exercise and do make sure you eat enough to fuel your exercise too. Just know that points 1-3 are what you need to lose fat.