Ask ROF - Neighbour Ishoo

I moved to a new 'hood in 2022. Decided new house, new Ash. Instead of ignoring my neighbours, I wave at them and make small talk when we pass in the street. I know their names, etc. Great stuff.

A couple of months ago, my neighbour - we'll call her Betty - asked me to help her with her business' strategy. Betty is my mom's age and runs her own business. I don't work, so I thought why the fook not. Spent a Tuesday morning talking about her business, and she took me to lunch to tell me about her family dramas. No wozzas.

Then every time I walked my dog, she'd be there with her dog. I thought - this is just a coincidence. No wozzas.

She suggest we go to lunch and she can pick my brain a bit more. Sure - no worries, we went to lunch a couple of weeks ago.

Now, I haven't seen her since.

This morning she called me and left a voicemail asking if she offended me because she hasn't seem me. I cbf with this - so I text back saying that all was good and can't wait to catch-up next time we cross paths in the street.

A few hours later, my front door goes and she's calling name. I am not expecting visitors and quickly get up to meet her before she barges any further into my house. She asks if I was keen to walk with her on her dog walk, and I say I'm about to go to Pilates (which was true), and that we can meet up over the weekend. She leaves.

This is all a bit full-on, non?

What should I do? I guess I could move or fake my own death.

You might not need to fake your own death, I think Betty is planning to have her patio relayed....

Good thing, Eddie, she rents.

I own my house tho. :(

What does ‘ she’s calling name’ mean? Can’t think how to solve your problem to be honest other than to say you’re going through a stressful patch and you’re one of those people who deals with that best by having a few month/years of alone time

didn't stop Beth & Mandy Jordache when they rented on Brookside Close....

diceman, I leave my front door open. She opened my front door, and called out, "Asshhh!! Ashhhh!"

Oh not too bad then - I thought maybe she’d gone on a swearing frenzy

After having followed your strategy …:)

I witness documents for my neighbours and have one sides set of spare keys, but that’s about it

ah, one of those locations where no one locks their door.

I grew up in one of those and would often arrive home to find a neighbour sitting in our kitchen drinking coffee waiting for us to get home.

Heh, this is why you shouldn’t get to know your neighbours. People be crazy.

Shut the door ffs

Bertha, that's a good point.

I have the front door open so Ashdog (who has terminal cancer) can freely go in and out to our front yard. She likes lying in the sun and in the front door way - feeling the seabreeze in her puppy fur.

One of the perils of living on Ramsey Street lol.

I laughed out loud at that, Clive.

I live in Perf.

Happy to be of service! Good mothering of Ashdog.

if she's getting on in years, maybe she'll leave you something in her will if you're nice to her.

My gran had a brother who lived in America for most of his life and then moved back to Ireland when he retired. 9 years later he died and left millions to the 8 year old boy of his next door neighbour. That was random....

Thanks, Clive. I try. She's the bestest dog.

Eddie, great points. However, I don't think she's got a lot to leave...I do reckon she's lonely - but her son and his girlfriend live here. She doesn't like his girlfriend though. It's all terribly complicated, I've come to find out over a quiche.

She’d probably be less needy if you had a steak for lunch

Get her to caddy for you.

Oh, and ruin my golf game?

Why you gotta be so mean, Bertha?!

It will cause her to adjust her expectations

Send her an invoice for the business strategy and picking your brain stuff.

Problem solved

Befriend the son's girlfriend and make sure she knows about it.

Tell her you're straight.

My neighbour is rather formal and always comes to the front gate and rings the bell rather than coming round through the point where our gardens meet.