Almost too good--my inclination to avoid confrontation (to not make enemies) has I think been a bit of a hindrance in my development--both professionally and personally.
I accidentally avoid conflict by not really taking it seriously. Not sure why I do that. But I tend to ask why they are behaving that way and then talk it out. There isn’t much that upsets me though (beyond health matters), and so I think that probably helps. If people persist in being a dick in the face of logic then it’s more about them than anything to do with me anyway.
Try to be otherwise my job would be stress city. However, i have noted that there are many in my job who actually enjoy conflict which makes for quite weary progress in trials.
I tend to respond to rants with a "Yes, but what do you want me to DO about all of this?" or "Where is this conversation going?"
Only lost it once in recent years with a particularly toxic opponent. It ended up with me telling him to "zip it" in the Bar Mess and walking out.
Like Sails, favour de-escalation over confrontation. Works 99% of the time but occasionally come across people who get more irate as I grow more calm. Once had a filofax thrown at me. I handed it back politely.
I think civilian non lawyers don’t understand that we can sit around all day watching them getting wound up when their habitually egregious behaviour stops working.
For example, I have a neighbour I can hear browbeating her husband and indulging her kids, whose behaviour is then appalling. This inevitably spills over the fence into my space in some form or other, starting in spring as they emerge like troglodytes blinking into the light and he is given this year’s project for the garden, but developing every year in some form or other. These people with their self contained little worlds and no sense of boundaries at all. No you can’t have your flip flop back, try stopping their pocket money.
No, but there are rules at work. Obvs ppl push them but there’s always the excuse it’s their client or just the way things are. Ordinary people too often have no idea where to draw the line, they just push on if they get away with stuff. This is how kids end up bullying other kids. No boundaries. Social media has made this immeasurably worse obvs.
I’ve had since yesterday afternoon shouting over the fence (as if I’m deaf not just ignoring the egregious witch), banging on the front door both yesterday and this morning. And now a terse note.
Bit like a high street litigator
Haven’t you got the messsge yet? Your bs doesn’t work on me.
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SHUT UP, STOP ASKING ME QUESTIONS, YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD.
storms off thread
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Almost too good--my inclination to avoid confrontation (to not make enemies) has I think been a bit of a hindrance in my development--both professionally and personally.
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Yes I’m a master of de-escalation.
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I accidentally avoid conflict by not really taking it seriously. Not sure why I do that. But I tend to ask why they are behaving that way and then talk it out. There isn’t much that upsets me though (beyond health matters), and so I think that probably helps. If people persist in being a dick in the face of logic then it’s more about them than anything to do with me anyway.
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I'm extremely meek. It's a major problem tbh.
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Highly avoidant until I very occasionally blow my top
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Genuinely terrible at it.
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Try to be otherwise my job would be stress city. However, i have noted that there are many in my job who actually enjoy conflict which makes for quite weary progress in trials.
I tend to respond to rants with a "Yes, but what do you want me to DO about all of this?" or "Where is this conversation going?"
Only lost it once in recent years with a particularly toxic opponent. It ended up with me telling him to "zip it" in the Bar Mess and walking out.
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Like Sails, favour de-escalation over confrontation. Works 99% of the time but occasionally come across people who get more irate as I grow more calm. Once had a filofax thrown at me. I handed it back politely.
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I think civilian non lawyers don’t understand that we can sit around all day watching them getting wound up when their habitually egregious behaviour stops working.
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"So Warren, what makes you think you're suited to a career in litigation?"
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I’m basically where Bailey describes now but I still remember how long it took me to grow out of being “involved” in client disputes
My first five years after qualifying had waaay too many highs and lows
I mention this cos the main reason I would have to confront people was to (I thought) further a clients case
Obviously daft but once I figured out that I could win without wearing my clients issue like a skin then life got a lot more chilled
only confrontation I have now is stuff forced by others
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For example, I have a neighbour I can hear browbeating her husband and indulging her kids, whose behaviour is then appalling. This inevitably spills over the fence into my space in some form or other, starting in spring as they emerge like troglodytes blinking into the light and he is given this year’s project for the garden, but developing every year in some form or other. These people with their self contained little worlds and no sense of boundaries at all. No you can’t have your flip flop back, try stopping their pocket money.
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Oh work is easy. Leave it to Counsel ;)
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Heh
Dear Counsel
Please deal
Yours
Bertha
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No, but there are rules at work. Obvs ppl push them but there’s always the excuse it’s their client or just the way things are. Ordinary people too often have no idea where to draw the line, they just push on if they get away with stuff. This is how kids end up bullying other kids. No boundaries. Social media has made this immeasurably worse obvs.
I’ve had since yesterday afternoon shouting over the fence (as if I’m deaf not just ignoring the egregious witch), banging on the front door both yesterday and this morning. And now a terse note.
Bit like a high street litigator
Haven’t you got the messsge yet? Your bs doesn’t work on me.
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