daydreaming in meetings

what is your number one daydream or phantasy in boring meetings?

mine: I put both feet on the table, with my legs bent

then I pull out a lighter and light up a very rich and powerful fart

 

you?

Seriously underrated thread.

Been a while since I saw tongue punching or fart box on ROF.

Me: I tend to move to the next meeting or topic in my head after max 10 to 15 mins so I just zoom out.

Seems most people are thoroughly sensible.  I drift off to stuff from outside work initially then get onto things I'd rather be doing which tends to involve that unspeakable but rather enjoyable thing I did with someone once upon a time.

a bit like Dux, I dream of getting a wild card into Wimbledon and defeating Serena Williams in a first round shock - actually by being so crap that she is really confused.  The older I get, the less likely this is to happen,.

also, if I win Euromillions, I wish to re-train as a jockey, as I am the same height as Frankie dettori, but weigh less than he does.

I used to imagine the people I didn’t like in the room dying in nasty ways.

Also has one fantasy about a particular female lawyer dismissing everyone else, locking the door and then... yeah you get the idea. Mmmm.

I'm on the family estate. After an unfortunate accident (or series thereof) in which my elder siblings their dear children and their dear, dear children in turn have tragically passed away and through no fault or design that can be tied to me at least not through currently accepted forensic techniques the big house is finally mine. The workers are respectful and appreciative of the good living we provide. There is no such thing as global warming (really, not just because we need to maintain a massive PR budget to claim otherwise) . Our overseas holdings are profitable and humanely administered (relative to what the natives could otherwise expect - of which they too are respectful and appreciative or so I am assured by the dour but trustworthy Presbyterian Scotsman to whom I have delegated these things). The creditors are occupied with more pressing matters. Our converted Short Sunderland purrs on the estuary ready to go anywhere in the world at a moments notice. In the library I am plotting new adventures, the wife enters with a pair of smoking 12 bores over each shoulder and a wickedly lascivious smile on her face...

Huh? What? Remuneration policy? I'm worth every bloody penny. I mean "The company operates in a global market place and if we are to attract the best talent..."....

Eh? Errr, um . Stop poking me. ah. Yes. No. I mean (pull yourself together. Jesus how can I bullshit through this? Ah yes!) ahem.

"I do not have that information available to me at the moment" . "Yes, yes I will. Of course. Yes. Immediately."