jobs that must be a fooking nightmare

1. Executive coach

how the fook does that work

it must be constant stress, my armpits feel sweaty just thinking about it

on the other hand you'd have to be fairly cocky to do it, I suppose

I think I would be ok with the organising but I would not like the needing to be on call at all times to fix things and knowing if you went on holiday a temp would fvck it up dimension

I would love to be an ethics advisor

I would wander around behind my advisee ringing a bell and shouting "unethical! unethical!" at relevant junctures

Conveyancing - I'm dealing with a buyer's solicitor who keeps asking the same thing repeatedly despite me having used three different polite methods of telling them where to shove their request.

30 days hols (plus 20 carried over from 21/22), flexi, a better going rate than most provincial firms plus nobody is allowed to call you on your holidays?

I think that still seems a pretty sweet gig 

30 days hols (plus 20 carried over from 21/22), flexi, a better going rate than most provincial firms plus nobody is allowed to call you on your holidays?

I think that still seems a pretty sweet gig 

Yeah but I work in France now.

I bet even France doesn't do 9 months mat leave on full pay (not sure how much I will bet, maybe 5 centimes)

one of my friends has done this 3 times

almost makes it seem worth having three kids

plus the defined benefit pension etc etc

I mean somebody somewhere is banging on about intersectionality but that's true everywhere and in the private sector they actually note attendance

unless you meant the French civil service would be terrible

I reckon the ability to be mega aloof in everyone's faces would be v satisfying

then a month for hols, a month for striking

sweet

What do you mean by all of this? Are you asking what their activities are? Why would it be constant stress? Why would you have to be cocky to do it?

1. Executive coach

how the fook does that work

it must be constant stress, my armpits feel sweaty just thinking about it

on the other hand you'd have to be fairly cocky to do it, I suppose

I bet even France doesn't do 9 months mat leave on full pay (not sure how much I will bet, maybe 5 centimes)

No it doesn't, that's true.

But that's really the only thing that was better at my last employer than my current one.

I don't think anyone here knows what intersectionality means and there are certainly no fvcking rainbow flags or compulsory training about w**ky bollocks.

The only diversity training I've been sent on since I arrived was a disability awareness day which was actually excellent.

"I would wander around behind my advisee ringing a bell and shouting "unethical! unethical!" at relevant junctures"

This does sound like fun. Although if I was Bozza's advisor I would carry an air horn not a bell, and would insist on my assistant Dave walking behind me carrying a large supply of gas refills.

Actually probably Dave should also carry a 2nd air horn ready to go, to make sure Bozza doesn't sneakily give Carrie a government job while Dave is reloading.

Yeah I like the idea of following Boris Johnson around with an air horn for every time he does something unethical.

someone must drive the ship

there's probably a stupid boat word for it. coxswain or bosun or something. 

No the captain of a cruise ship minces about in a white uniform chatting up 90 year-olds (and shagging Moldovan dancers).

The ‘driving’ is done by the watchkeeping deck officers.

Actually the officer of the watch will oversee a helmsman but guess a lot of those things are on autohelm once they're out at sea so the guys on the bridge and just keeping a lookout and checking the radar.

Yeah I like the idea of following Boris Johnson around with an air horn for every time he does something unethical.
 

You’d be sick of the sound of that bloody air horn within a week. 

Potato harvesting. A nightmare of dust on a dry day and a nightmare of mud on a wet day

Onions are worse, all of the above plus crying.

Actually the officer of the watch will oversee a helmsman but guess a lot of those things are on autohelm once they're out at sea so the guys on the bridge and just keeping a lookout and checking the radar.

I knew Saillaw would be able to answer this question.

Working somewhere without Rainbow flags seems pretty shite tbh. So much discrimination. May as well ban the burkha whilst you are there. Oh.

I did a heh at cruise boat driver - reminds of that Inbetweeners sketch on the work experience episode:

'airplane driver' 

'how long is my lunch hour'

"You’d be sick of the sound of that bloody air horn within a week."

Pretty sure it wouldn't take that long.

BJPM: Wuuurgh blurrgh blaaargh... Critics of my immigration policy... condescending attitudes towards Rwanda...

PAAAAAARP!

Ethics Adviser: Watermelons and piccanninies, Boris.

BJPM: Gaaargh waaargh ... but surely that is mere hypocrisy and your job is to monitor eth...

PAAAAAAAAAARP!

Ethics Advisor: interfering with the scope of the role of ethics advisor.

BJPM: Gaaargh blaaargh rhubarb!

PAAAAAAAAAARP!

I actually cant imagine being a GP, the thought of having to touch other peoples bodies and inspect their infections makes me want to vom. 

Working somewhere without Rainbow flags seems pretty shite tbh. So much discrimination. 

Rainbow flags make shite all difference to whether there is discrimination.

It's just virtue signalling.

I actually cant imagine being a GP, the thought of having to touch other peoples bodies and inspect their infections makes me want to vom. 

I would quite like to be one of those dermatology nurses who drains people's cysts actually.

Looks so satisfying.

It's pretty difficult for those dependent upon academia for their economic stability right now These students are future judges, solicitors, police officers, cleaners, scientists, delivery drivers, pilots, and teachers

https://www.hepi.ac.uk/wp-content/uploads/2022/06/You-cant-say-that-Wha…

"We polled 1,000 full-time undergraduates on a range of free speech issues via YouthSight, a market research company specialising in students’ views. Our questions are identical to those posed through the same polling company in 2016 (with two additions), allowing us to make a comparison of how views have changed over the past six years. The results show clearly that students have become significantly less supportive of free expression."

Free speech and discrimination

  • 79% of students believe ‘Students that feel threatened should always have their demands for safety respected’ (up from 68% in 2016) while 4% disagree (down from 10% in 2016).
  • 61% of students say ‘when in doubt’ their own university ‘should ensure all students are protected from discrimination rather than allow unlimited free speech’ (up from 37% in 2016).
  • The proportion of students who believe ‘universities are becoming less tolerant of a wide range of viewpoints’ has risen to 38% (up from 24% in 2016), and this view is considerably more common among male students (51%) than female students (28%).
  • The proportion of students who agree that ‘if you debate an issue like sexism or racism, you make it acceptable’ has doubled to 35% (from 17% in 2016).

Events

  • Most students believe one or more political groups should be banned from speaking at higher education institutions, including the English Defence League (26%), UKIP (24%), the British National Party (19%), the Communist Party (12%) and the Conservative Party (11%) – when presented with a long list of political parties, just 13% say ‘none of the above’ should be banned from speaking (down from 27% in 2016).
  • 64% of students think universities should ‘consult special interest groups (e.g. religious groups or gender societies) about on-campus events’ (up from 40% in 2016).
  • When asked what rights students and staff should have to respond to an event they dislike, 39% of students say they should be able to ‘hold a protest outside’, 20% say they should be able to ‘stop the event from happening’ and 12% say they should be able to ‘disrupt the event’ (all up since 2016).
  • The proportion of students who think ‘gender segregation should be allowed at official university events’ is 32% (up from 20% in 2016).

Students’ unions

  • 86% of students support the No-Platform policy of the National Union of Students, (up from 76% in 2016) while just 5% say ‘the NUS should not limit free speech or discussion’.
  • 62% of students support students’ unions refusing to sell tabloid newspapers on grounds of sexism (up from 38% in 2016) while only 10% disagree.
  • 39% of students believe ‘students’ unions should ban all speakers that cause offence to some students’ (more than double the 16% figure in 2016).

Staffing and academic resources

  • 77% of students believe there should be ‘mandatory training for all university staff’ on understanding other cultures (up from 55% in 2016).
  • The proportion of students who think academics should be fired if they ‘teach material that heavily offends some students’ is 36% (over double the 15% in 2016).
  • When asked about university libraries, one-third of students (34%) say ‘all resources should be included for the purpose of academic study, regardless of content’ (down from almost one-half of students – 47% – in 2016).

Trigger warnings, removing memorials and safe spaces

  • 86% of students support trigger warnings (up from 68% in 2016).
  • 76% of students think universities should always or sometimes ‘get rid of’ memorials of potentially controversial figures (up from 51% in 2016).
  • 62% of students support safe-space policies (up from 48% in 2016).

Government

  • In response to a new question, around one-half of students (48%) support the Government’s proposal to establish a ‘free speech champion’ for universities in England. Around one-quarter (23%) disagree and the rest are uncertain (29%).

Forensic pathologist. 
 

Non-stop harassment by the coroner's office for reports because you’ve missed a deadline you didn’t agree to and which you told them was unrealistic. 
 

Bodies decomposing in the fridges because the coroners office is taking so long to process referrals. 

  • The proportion of students who agree that ‘if you debate an issue like sexism or racism, you make it acceptable’ has doubled to 35% (from 17% in 2016).

So we just don't mention the bad stuff and pretend it doesn't happen?

The polio sewer thing just made me think of the people who have to deal with the fatbergs in the London sewer system. That is a terrible looking job

Sat diver on the rigs. 

Met a guy who does this. Mad dollar, but hugely risky whilst simultaneously incredibly boring. Fvck that 

  • The proportion of students who agree that ‘if you debate an issue like sexism or racism, you make it acceptable’ has doubled to 35% (from 17% in 2016).

In unrelated news, the proportion of students who are thick as bricks has doubled to 70% (from 35% in 2016).

I once had to visit an abattoir/meat processing factory, after a client was badly injured there.

Freezing cold, horrible smells and sights, and hour after hour, day after day, month after month, of cutting up chicken carcasses and the like.

It did seem like hell on earth, and whenever I think my job is hard, I remember that dreadful place and the poor folks who work there.

Good question!

It did put me off  briefly, but I slipped back pretty quick.

I suspect that if I was taken round, say, a battery chicken farm I may stop eating poultry due to the horrible living conditions for the animals.

Beef, lamb and to a lesser extent pork are obviously reared in a more acceptable way.

No probs at all with fish.

Removal man. I spent considerable weekends , holidays and evenings back in the day as a removal mans assistant. The hardest and most tiring work ever done . Not enough men on a job, packing and humping  stuff up several flights of stairs , etc, etc . They never stop and 12 hour days plus were the norm. The worst were flat removals. Did a couple of 18 hour shifts .

Upside, the best gym workout ever, you’ll be ripped in no time . You save money because you’ll be too tired to go out ever , and will sleep better than you can ever imagine .

CFO at a PE backed portfolio company:

About 1/3 get sacked every year

The PE firm are brutal to you, the demands are endless

You've got to be a teammate to the CEO.

But open with the PE firm 

You're constantly worrying about cash

You're trying to be careful with the pennies so you don't hire in to your own department but that means you can't deliver (that's self - inflicted)

 

and the CEO takes 3-4x of the Sweet that you do

Rumpole, those survey results are horrifying.

Those who would destroy Western Civilisation must be really pleased.

And what you said about Executive Coaches. It would be a pain if it was a last chance remedial case with no possibility of change: a very antiquated view of coaching.  On the other hand helping successful people to find ways to improve themselves is pretty well the core of any role that advises, mentors, supervises, or leads professionals and executives.

They are, Elffffi, and I have worse anecdotes from recent times, I'm sad to say

Completely agree about coaching

Have seen predictable poor results in the scenario you mentioned, and also when the exec was only doing it under duress, and thinking they just had to play along and then could drop it Such a large investment completely wasted

I don't rate the exec coaching companies that chase corporate deals broadly within companies, and also think they can specialise on exec coaching

They often get the 2 lines of profit, because those who decide on such matters don't know enough, but I've never known it to go well, and have witnessed some shocking lies told (scientific claims that are nonsense, in place of holding people accountable for poor choices affecting their current state)

Have loads of examples of it making a continued, valuable difference In recent weeks, the topic came up on 2 separate occasions with highly successful entrepreneurs I was chatting to in downtime during meetings

1 has had the same coach since 1993, and 1 since 2010 The latter's wife has the same coach, and the cost of the coach is paid by them out of pocket, which says something for how much they value coaching We chatted about a variety of business and personal issues their coaches have supported them through, how often they meet, how sessions are structured, things they've struggled with, things they've improved, things they keep failing at, and so on

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What experience do you have with exec coaches, faled?

How is it a blag?