Just ordered a book on Amazon

moderately critical of China

Then the 5G cuts out for 10 minutes

Classic Xi

The order was bad but the thread about it is going to result in them delivering promptly, but when they knock at your door a man will be struggling with a big crate - too big for that cock tickler you ordered - and you will be suspicious but before you've realized what's happening you'll be bundled in, nailed down and put in a container to a storage depot in Shanghai where they will interview you after letting you cool in the container for a fortnight.