When I was 9 I had a really bad attack of the shits at school and I suspect my pants could still be on top of the ceiling tile above the 3rd trap from the left. .
Thinking I was good at chess when turning up to my third year science project lab of only 10 people and discovering I was 3rd best. Top dog in the lab was Nobel prize winner Sir John Cornforth with the Australian record of about 12 simultaneous blindfold chess games who I had not realised was a chess player.
Once thought I would be the best tennis player at this luxury hotel I stayed in, these two other blokes called Roger and Rafa were even better than I was, I had SUCH a red face!
I remembered a story last week which I shared with the woman involved.
Her mother turned up at the night club she was in, the mum was in her dressing gown and slippers, had the music shut off and yelled, "I'm not leaving until I find her!"
Mrs Face and I had been out on a very heavy evening clubbing at Sankey’s in Manchester. Childless, we slept past midday and I hauled myself onto the sofa in my dressing gown while Mrs Face made cups of tea.
I felt a large fart brewing, and felt the need to ensure Mrs Face heard it. Our living room was on a lower level in the flat to the others and I shouted for her to come.
As she stood at the top of the short stairs down looking at me I opened my dressing gown and sang “listen to this, too good to miss, TRA LA LA LA” and proceeded to shart directly downwards into my dressing gown.
That was 27 years ago, and readers she’s still with me.
Confronted a man in a B&Q car park who had parked in a disabled bay with no blue badge with “don’t look disabled to me pal” before he opened the back door to get his very disabled child out saying “no, but HE fvcking is!”
Locked myself out of my hotel room in St Albans while away with work absolutely and totally naked. Absolutely no linen cupboard to be found so had to go to reception cupping my meat and two veg in my hands. Then had forgotten my room number so the young lady on reception had to look me up. Both the wait for the room number and the fairly long walk back to the room, still cupping, felt like an eternity
I did that in a hotel after a heavy night of drinking.. luckily I was able to find a towel big enough to wrap around me but ... it was a rural hotel so the reception was closed for the night, I had to wait in the lobby for someone to come in in the morning..
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I once gave a thumbs up to one of Serge's posts on RoF
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I actually quite like Risky.
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So much to choose from…
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I once did a poo off a cliff and then blamed a friend
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When I was 9 I had a really bad attack of the shits at school and I suspect my pants could still be on top of the ceiling tile above the 3rd trap from the left. .
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Last weekend I was about to get in the car to go to the supermarket and asked #3 if ahe had any last minute orders.
"Mango" she replied
I immediately broke into the "mango mango man" song (to the tune of macho man). With jazz hands.
I looked up and the neighbour was putting out his rubbish.
"Hi pete" I said (with slowly fading jazz hands).
"Urgh" he replied before scuttling nervously away
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That is beautiful Wong.
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Honestly I don't think that's embarrassing it's just jubilant
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Yeah Pete sounds like an ashen faced, joyless wa nker
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Once said "oh Emma" with someone who wasn't called Emma.
Had to style it out like Super Mario
Oh Emma gonna fook-a you so hard.
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On the train back just now a tough looking chap got on with his dog.
It was one of those fluffy ones that looks like the bastard offspring of paddington bear and a blowdried tampon.
Which he could have styled out tbf, he looked well tough.
Until he snoozled off a bit and it slipped the lead so he had to try and tough guy it out down the carriage shouting "come back Fou-Fou"
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I once had a sip of fabric softener because it smelled so nice I thought it must taste amazing. It didn't.
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I got on the train today with my dog and it the lead came off
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Thinking I was good at chess when turning up to my third year science project lab of only 10 people and discovering I was 3rd best. Top dog in the lab was Nobel prize winner Sir John Cornforth with the Australian record of about 12 simultaneous blindfold chess games who I had not realised was a chess player.
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i once got on a bus in a german city and ended up , unintentionally, where i started after an hour or so
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My dog ate my friend’s guinea pigs in the middle of a nice family bbq. My friend still reminds me 40 years later.
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Curiously nothing from rof’s brexiters or Trumpers. Sad.
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Heh for Davos
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I once voted lib dem
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Great story Rhialto.
Once thought I would be the best tennis player at this luxury hotel I stayed in, these two other blokes called Roger and Rafa were even better than I was, I had SUCH a red face!
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The japanese dance ct on BGT just totally nicked the mango man dance!
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sven once lolled too early
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being beaten at chess by a nobel laureate is quite cool.
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I remembered a story last week which I shared with the woman involved.
Her mother turned up at the night club she was in, the mum was in her dressing gown and slippers, had the music shut off and yelled, "I'm not leaving until I find her!"
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Heh, this is the lamest 'embarrassing secret' thread ever.
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Mrs Face and I had been out on a very heavy evening clubbing at Sankey’s in Manchester. Childless, we slept past midday and I hauled myself onto the sofa in my dressing gown while Mrs Face made cups of tea.
I felt a large fart brewing, and felt the need to ensure Mrs Face heard it. Our living room was on a lower level in the flat to the others and I shouted for her to come.
As she stood at the top of the short stairs down looking at me I opened my dressing gown and sang “listen to this, too good to miss, TRA LA LA LA” and proceeded to shart directly downwards into my dressing gown.
That was 27 years ago, and readers she’s still with me.
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Also:
Confronted a man in a B&Q car park who had parked in a disabled bay with no blue badge with “don’t look disabled to me pal” before he opened the back door to get his very disabled child out saying “no, but HE fvcking is!”
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Also:
Locked myself out of my hotel room in St Albans while away with work absolutely and totally naked. Absolutely no linen cupboard to be found so had to go to reception cupping my meat and two veg in my hands. Then had forgotten my room number so the young lady on reception had to look me up. Both the wait for the room number and the fairly long walk back to the room, still cupping, felt like an eternity
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I did that in a hotel after a heavy night of drinking.. luckily I was able to find a towel big enough to wrap around me but ... it was a rural hotel so the reception was closed for the night, I had to wait in the lobby for someone to come in in the morning..
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