Where would you hide a dead body?

Would be one of my first date icebreakers

How about yours?

In between two of your chins, biggie. Plenty of room, nobody would notice the difference in aroma and I guess eventually the body would decompose or be absorbed or something.

Not sure I ever liked police presence on this board tbf.

Are you monitoring our comments for offensiveness, jim? What if someone is a bit transphobic? I hear that's one of the worst modern crimes. 

Yes Barry, I’m making copious notes and reporting back to Cressida. Expect a knock on the door in the early hours with all your computers to be seized because you used the word person rather than persxn.

 

Although the question of how to hide a body successfully is quite a difficult one, to be honest it is even more difficult for me to imagine a situation where I'd have a dead body on my hands but wouldn't be so overcome with the guilt (if I had something to do with it) or the general morosity of the situation (e.g. if I didn't have anything to do with it, but somehow it was up to me to get rid of the body) that I'd be concerned with how to hide a body rather than whether to bring myself in or frankly to end it all.

Nevertheless, if such a situation were to arise it seems to me the best way is a plastic bad stuffed with stones, and then dropped off somewhere in the lochs (which are quite deep as I understand). Then leave the country and find a jurisdiction where psychotherapy confidentiality is strong enough. 

Next door neighbours are hoarders and have an old dilapidated shed that is full to bursting with bags of junk and rubbish. No one has been in there for years. They only come to the property a few times a year, so plenty of opportunity to sneak in and hide a body in there.

come to think of it, there could already be something in there. They are very odd…