Law firms have reacted to the world economic crisis by introducing emergency measures to restrict the unregulated flow of stationery, and to clamp down on unauthorised poached eggs.

Leading Australian firm Deacons lead the way by locking all its stationery cupboards. If anyone needs so much as a post-it note, a request has to be made to Corporate Services to send someone over to unlock a cupboard. As one insider says, "we are watched whilst collecting our supplies, and then the cupboard is locked behind us as we leave".


A Deacons lawyer smuggling paperclips yesterday

Apparently the countless requests for stationery have so overwhelmed Corporate Services that there's never anyone available, so lawyers have now resorted to buying their own pens. Maybe BP Collins could learn from this...

And even the largest firm in the world isn't immune from tightwaddery. RollOnFriday was alarmed to hear that Clifford Chance has stopped offering a choice of eggs to its staff in the morning. Poached eggs have apparently been withdrawn from the breakfast menu, leaving only fried eggs. "Who likes fried eggs anyway? No one", one insider stormed.

A spokeswoman for Clifford Chance said that "the firm has no official policy on eggs".

Position Firm
1 Dawsons
Being the tightest firm in the world
2 Shoosmiths Ambitious plans to save 23p per employee
3 DWF Announcing £25 Christmas party
4 Eversheds Cancelling Christmas and pudding
5 Olswang Cancelling Christmas
6 K&L Gates Loo roll downgrading
7 McGrigors Abandoning free lunches
8 BP Collins Pen amnesty
9 McDermotts Cutting free coffee
10 Deacons Locking stationery cupboards
11 Clifford Chance Err... offering only one kind of egg for breakfast
Tip Off ROF