I literally don’t understand how they managed to kill five people in one place just with stabby antics. Firstly, stabbing is a very very unreliable way to kill people. Who did they practice on? Secondly - and I’m not a hard man, there must have been harder men than me present - but I am a decent sized unit, and if I crash through the back of you unawares, you are going to hit the deck and then all bets are off. If I’ve got a sharp broken pint glass in my hand ready to plunge into your neck, all bets are on me.
Play a game. Give someone a Sharpie and wear a white long sleeve. If you can take the Sharpie from them without a single mark, you win. If they mark you once, you're dead.
When they wing you, you drop like a fooking stone and the shock stuns you. The second swipe ends you. That's how it works. This is not a 90s action movie where you shrug off a gunshot wound and just run a bit slower.
There's a YouTube series, the Ultimate Self Defence Championship, which is excellent. They got 6 YouTube martial artists, all of whom are pretty decently skilled (i.e. almost certainly much more than anyone on this site) and out them through various self defence challenges. Full contact, good stuff. It's an excellent series and I'd recommend it.
Anyway one exercise they did was to put the person in a room with a guy with a marker pen (i.e. a knife) for 20 seconds. If marker pen guy didn't mark their top they got 3 points, if they only got marked in non-vital locations they got 1 point. Otherwise no points.
Each guy got three tries. Across the 18 rounds 1 point was scored in total.
One of them is/was a professional MMA fighter. He did one of the sickest combos I've seen. Kicked the guy in the face with a front kick and dropped straight into a double leg takedown. Beautiful technique and devastating for his opponent. He still got "stabbed" repeatedly.
So yeah, bollocks any of you (or me) are beating a guy with a knife who wants you dead.
Also Jelly’s stupid construct assumes you see me coming. Mate your sharpie ain’t going to do you no good if i crash upwards into your mid back and by the time you hit the deck you’ve already landed on my well placed broken pint glass and you’re hugging the black. Give over. Angry pisses up rugby guy with the benefit of surprise beats geeky pencil necked fundie-tezz eejit any day the week
In other news, a middle aged lawyer, historian and not-quite-olympic cyclist died today after challenging a 12 year old knife-wielding thug. He is mourned by an extensive magazine porn collection and a ladder house
Armed police are only ever minutes away but if you want to stop terror attacks like this you need to infiltrate the communities and root them out into custody before they can do any damage.
Sometimes he’s from durham - a town he moved away from as soon as he got the chance over 25 years ago
Or a brummie - because he happened to pop out of old mother laz in the west midlands
Once he even claimed to be a manc - his grandfather came from cheshire apparently
In any event, reading his internet rambo ramblings from last night I hope that he has plenty of electrolytes to hand when he wakes up and no heavy machinery to operate
On OP, if you're talking about the one around Borough, I only missed it because I was too hungover from being there the night before so decided not to go out.
If you mean the one on the bridge, I was in LB station when the alarms went off and everyone started jumping on to tubes .. not because we knew what was going on but because we were expecting to get chucked out of the station and have to get buses..
The London Bridge attacks were designed to be far bigger, with the knives only as a second tactic for mopping up stragglers. They had a van full of homemade napalm type petrol bombs, but never got the chance to use them after they stacked it. Pretty good job really.
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Depends on the availability of Narwhal or other tusks.
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I literally don’t understand how they managed to kill five people in one place just with stabby antics. Firstly, stabbing is a very very unreliable way to kill people. Who did they practice on? Secondly - and I’m not a hard man, there must have been harder men than me present - but I am a decent sized unit, and if I crash through the back of you unawares, you are going to hit the deck and then all bets are off. If I’ve got a sharp broken pint glass in my hand ready to plunge into your neck, all bets are on me.
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The Francis "Franco" Begbie of rof.
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I’m millwall
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Play a game. Give someone a Sharpie and wear a white long sleeve. If you can take the Sharpie from them without a single mark, you win. If they mark you once, you're dead.
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i xceor you’re not actually dead are u
if someone wings you with a knife
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indeed, if someone stabs you properly anywhere there isn’t a significant artery, you’re - not dead
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When they wing you, you drop like a fooking stone and the shock stuns you. The second swipe ends you. That's how it works. This is not a 90s action movie where you shrug off a gunshot wound and just run a bit slower.
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So you're saying we should all carry a Sharpie lid in our pocket when boozing in that London?
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Not quite. On any night out, carry a sheath. To protect yourself.
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life absolutely is a 90s action movie ‘88, although your reference point is weird, the go to point for unrealistic action movies is the 80s
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also if I knife you in the neck same time you won’t me; me winny win win
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All the more reason responsible, law-abiding citizens should be allowed to carry handguns. 🙃
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You carry a knife?
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and what I’m saying is not that there’s no risk
but that I’d take the risk
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yes down the back of my boot
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Lol
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You can't wear boots in summer. Unless you're a pervert. Oh.
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Only sailors wear condoms
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so they should, the dirty beggars, they’ve got a girl in every port
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There's a YouTube series, the Ultimate Self Defence Championship, which is excellent. They got 6 YouTube martial artists, all of whom are pretty decently skilled (i.e. almost certainly much more than anyone on this site) and out them through various self defence challenges. Full contact, good stuff. It's an excellent series and I'd recommend it.
Anyway one exercise they did was to put the person in a room with a guy with a marker pen (i.e. a knife) for 20 seconds. If marker pen guy didn't mark their top they got 3 points, if they only got marked in non-vital locations they got 1 point. Otherwise no points.
Each guy got three tries. Across the 18 rounds 1 point was scored in total.
One of them is/was a professional MMA fighter. He did one of the sickest combos I've seen. Kicked the guy in the face with a front kick and dropped straight into a double leg takedown. Beautiful technique and devastating for his opponent. He still got "stabbed" repeatedly.
So yeah, bollocks any of you (or me) are beating a guy with a knife who wants you dead.
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Also Jelly’s stupid construct assumes you see me coming. Mate your sharpie ain’t going to do you no good if i crash upwards into your mid back and by the time you hit the deck you’ve already landed on my well placed broken pint glass and you’re hugging the black. Give over. Angry pisses up rugby guy with the benefit of surprise beats geeky pencil necked fundie-tezz eejit any day the week
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er yeah ok a guy with a knife might touch you if you went face to face
we ain’t talking face to face
and it takes more than a touch
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Heh. Can we add this to the list of "brilliant business ideas you didn't implement".
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In other news, a middle aged lawyer, historian and not-quite-olympic cyclist died today after challenging a 12 year old knife-wielding thug. He is mourned by an extensive magazine porn collection and a ladder house
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no
for one thing, there is no such list
wood u like to try again while I bang 1999 era lisa faulkner the badd way?
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heh
whenever someone starts wanging about how they would fare against someone armed with a knife, I am put in mind of this:
https://youtu.be/G2hcoV-6Lv8?si=9zcjAUBCS0REivnj&t=33
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The thing about knives is people panic
I've had a few pulled on me growing up in Salford
Basically, never turn your back. Never run. Back off fast and if they come for you slap the c*** hard and don't stop
That's what I was brought up with
But if people are running then you can see a person getting a few stabs off, particularly in an environment which people don't expect to be attacked
Luckily/unluckily I've been brought up to expect violence
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And yes the key is staying alive. Movies will tell you otherwise
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yes that’s all fine but what you’re missing is
in the scenario, I am (read: you are) in possession of a knife
note to Davos (and, frankly, all of you): we all know u r not hard
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it’s fvcking impossible to land a kill hit on someone who’s moving and aggressively trying to end you, if all you have is a knife
you literally have about five points on the body you can hit, and you have to hit them well, or it’s as much use as a fist
ooh but if you wore a white tank top and someone managed to scratch you with their sharpie ooh ooh
who gives a fvck about being scratched
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Thank fook for insane Kung Fu, eh readers.
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Laz M7 what are you chatting? Public school shite tbh tbh
Humans are scared of knives
If someone has pulled one panic sets in
Only when you've seen it 10+ times can you really expect to control your human emotions
Public school probably didn't train you for that
Back off back off and then fooking run when you are clear
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"who gives a fvck about being scratched"
watch the Vunak video for what this scratch would look like
"in the scenario, I am (read: you are) in possession of a knife"
you carry one, do you?
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yes I do
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davos m88
let’s meet up for footbakl
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Not if you carry a skank pal
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I’ll leave it home sun
be fair, I’m from Durham, that’s like Longsight but hard
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Those of us in the know call it Sally.
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davos on getting cockslapped
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Sally on the map
Or getting an Uber to laz's mums house as we used to know it
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Hold on Davos, you said never run. Which is it M8?
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Sally bring it up, Sally bring it down.
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0191 in the area fukkaz
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Instructions are clear marshall public school
Back off back off
Run
Slap if needed
Never turn your back
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Everyone in Trashford carries a blade tbf
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Armed police are only ever minutes away but if you want to stop terror attacks like this you need to infiltrate the communities and root them out into custody before they can do any damage.
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Ah, laz and his ever shifting identity crisis
Sometimes he’s from durham - a town he moved away from as soon as he got the chance over 25 years ago
Or a brummie - because he happened to pop out of old mother laz in the west midlands
Once he even claimed to be a manc - his grandfather came from cheshire apparently
In any event, reading his internet rambo ramblings from last night I hope that he has plenty of electrolytes to hand when he wakes up and no heavy machinery to operate
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Gr8 thread. Would read again
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You’re all assuming it’s hand to hand and face to face. Unlike WWF if some breaks a chair over your head you generally don’t woozily get back up.
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On OP, if you're talking about the one around Borough, I only missed it because I was too hungover from being there the night before so decided not to go out.
If you mean the one on the bridge, I was in LB station when the alarms went off and everyone started jumping on to tubes .. not because we knew what was going on but because we were expecting to get chucked out of the station and have to get buses..
Yes, I'd have challenged them if I could.
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The London Bridge attacks were designed to be far bigger, with the knives only as a second tactic for mopping up stragglers. They had a van full of homemade napalm type petrol bombs, but never got the chance to use them after they stacked it. Pretty good job really.
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Laz you’re a big man but you’re out of shape
With the tezzas it’s a full time job
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Goodness me there’s some rufty tufty solicitors on this board
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