All you can eat restaurants

What is the appeal of these? Surely all you can eat in one meal isnt better than just a normal meal that's really nice?

(Obv I understand the unlimited veg on the Toby carvery that's different)

  1. Loads of people like the food those places serve, especially eg tex mex, pizza.
  2. Some people on a budget appreciate the chance to effectively do their day’s eating in one go.
  3. Men, especially, like to feel full after a meal. Small portions can fvck off.

First, we talk tactics.

Number one, positioning.
Close to the buffet, minimising plate travel time and ensuring prime position for refills.

Number two, the first round.
Just one of each item.
We are nothing to worry about, we are not gluttons.
This is the introductory taster plate.
We don't want to use stomach space on non-tasty items.

Three, when returning to the station for round two, maximise high value items, eg prawns, over lower value bulk foods, such as rice or noodle.
Remember the aim here is not simply to have a satisfying meal out.
The ultimate aim is to beat the buffet.

And finally, four, when you think you can't eat any more I'm not filling my cheeks like a hamster.
Nor am I hiding spring rolls up your jacksie.
Bring out, The Transporter.

 

I used to love this 

Get a wage packet Friday afternoon 

Go down to a local one 

Fill up on as much food as possible and a few glasses of weak lager 

Used to cost about 6 quid for the food 

It was cheap, cheerful, you were with your mates and it was a good way to spend a few hours 

Haven't been to one for decades though 

The portions in a lot of restaurants leave me wanting more.

Reminds me of a place in Newcastle which offered students drink as much as you could on a Tuesday night for £10.  This offer lasted a matter of weeks before they realised they were getting absolutely rinsed.

I think I flipped from valuing quantity in a restaurant meal at about the age of 40.   Since then I prefer smaller portions but if I get a bigger one I will eat it but regret i.

I still like a Dubai hotel brunch about once or twice a year. 

There is something about going back for the third lobster and drinking champagne out of a massive wine glass that appeals to my inner yobbo. 

They make it back on the stick insect women eating 3 lettuce leaves and drinking vodka and soda. 

Tbf I have only done this on holibobs at 5* hotels where I am reassured about the provenance of the meat. I would never do it at some high street place in England. 

Used to regularly lunch off a nagover by going to the pizza hut AYCE.  By the end of the first round, your beaker of free oeosi would have an oil alick of grease floating on it.

They make it back on the stick insect women eating 3 lettuce leaves and drinking vodka and soda. 

 

 

They make it back on everyone going to the mega-priced hotel bars afterwards to continue drinking!

Loved them as a student.

Basically get to fill up for practically no money PLUS you go with your chums and there's the added competition thrown in - piling it high, mocking those who have the same amount as you but not as spicy, going too large early on the salad bar, that kind of thing.  

Obviously hell for anyone who wasn't a student nearby.

Heh@naan in the fan

We used to play the curry song game

This involves singing (loudly and obnoxiously) to the tune of Bonanza

Chicken

Chicken korma

Chicken

Chicken korrrmaaaaah

Chicken

Chicken korma

But I'd rather have a 

Poh poppadom

Pah pah poppadom

And so on through all the curries and accoutrements we could think of until we ran out or were ejected.

Excuse me waiter, it's quite warm in here, could you please put the ceiling fans on?  Oh, and while I have your attention, could we order half a dozen plain naans?

Sails, was that the place that was a converted car ferry (Tuxedo something) moored down by the quayside. 

I vaguely recall an offer like that when I ended up on there one evening but was fairly hammered by the time I arrived so was probably quite a profitable punter.