I was pissing by with a massage. 

You stupid woman! She jumped into my arms because she saw a mouse. It is your job to set the traps. Can I trust you with nothing?

Heh! 

Would you like a ride in my leetle tank?

It is I, leclerk 

The fallen Madonna with teh big boobies 

The gateau in the chateau

I heard the british farters and bummers flying overhead.

Ze fallen madonna wiz ze big boobies by Van Clomp was pretty oddly described. A modest B cup at the very most.

one of those shows I just didn't like whatsoever.. I remember thinking, how can a nation that gave the world Fawlty Towers, Yes Minister, Porridge and the Young Ones come up with this utter garbage.

Also on that list is:

Keeping Up Appearances

Hi de hi

The Brittas Empire

What's wrong with you? 

Well. Quite. 

I shall say zees only once

The policeman always reminds me of a French client from my time at the Calvinist Ant Colony who was being given various structuring options for his oil trading business, some of which might have raised a few eyebrows at HMRC (or rather its predecessor).  He went for the least tax aggressive option explaining

I do nurt wurnt ze Inlond Rovenoo ... to sink zat ... I am ... a kernt

The tax weirdo looked horrified while I snotted tea over my notebook.

Brittas Empire was moderately funny and does not deserve to be on the same list of garbage as Allo Allo Hi de Hi Keeping up Appearances.   Add Last of the Summer Wine instead.

KLOP!

Although apparently he wasn’t saying that.

<gets punched by Helga>
What a mistake-a to make-a

Wasn’t he saying “-Tler !”  i.e. truncating “Heil Hitler!” because he couldn’t be bothered to do the whole thing.

I think that’s it strutter though I also read once that he refused to  say the full name Hitler for principled reasons.

One of the weakest comedies ever made 

Awful show. I remember a PA who used to greet you with good moaning without fail. If the windows could be opened and there were three of you spare she’d have been set free. 

My grandfather was obsessed with it, but then it probably hit differently for people old enough to remember the war.

And it ruined Secret Army. Which was a great show 

Even as a kid I remember finding the idea of all those hot young waitresses clambering over each other for the attention of Rene, a dumpy middle aged bald guy who treated his wife life shit, very unconvincing. 

But, you know, prime time,

As a dumpy middle aged balding bloke, it gives us hope

‘of all those hot young waitresses clambering over each other for the attention of Rene‘

Can’t you see he was just comforting the poor girl!?

As i was pissing by the window.

one of those shows I just didn't like whatsoever.. I remember thinking, how can a nation that gave the world Fawlty Towers, Yes Minister, Porridge and the Young Ones come up with this utter garbage.

Also on that list is:

Keeping Up Appearances

Hi de hi

The Brittas Empire

----------------------------------------

I like F Towers and Keeping Up Appearances.  Don't be a comedy snob.  Gentle humour / edgy humour - all good.  Casting in 'Appearances was genius - Onslow - legend