I read a romance novel about lawyers and it was like being pinned against the wall by a deluded bore.

Amazon has 43 pages of books about sexy lawyers. I picked A Very Corporate Affair because it was near the top of the list. By the time I realised I was reading the second in a trilogy I felt sufficiently up to speed to forgo the first instalment. Also, Book 1's cover is a blurry photo of some office blocks, whereas Book 2 features a man fondling two microphones.



A Very Corporate Affair charts the life and loves of Elle, a self-obsessed NQ employed by the fictional Canary Wharf firm of 'Pearson Hardwick'. My God, but she is a terrible person. I count eleven boasts and no romance in the opening paragraph.



Readers might expect the Managing Partner to take Elle down a peg or two, perhaps over her knee in a lusty scene with a paddle. They would be wrong. But what A Very Corporate Affair lacks in eroticism, it makes up in ludicrous pay negotiations.



Only 12 weeks qualified and already a corruption-busting, client-winning, deal-leading superstar. Will Elle get what she deserves?



Alas, the "grade one benefit package" is not a trapdoor above a furnace and Elle lives long enough to receive a call from Ivan, a sexy Russian client.



Still your beating heart; Elle is referring to Ivan overfeeding his Spaniels.

Things take an unexpected turn when Elle is taken to Nobu by another sexy client.


CRUMBS. And that's where the free sample runs out. The rest of A Very Corporate Affair, Book Two is available for £2.49.