My first post in this series about in-house life generated a rather healthy debate and I would like to thank all those who commented (yes, even you). All attention is good attention, right?
This week, for your delectation, I present a beginners’ guide to in-house spotting.
The list below is by no means a full summary of the species of in-house lawyer one may encounter in the wild. But, for the amateur observer, what follows is a list of common breeds that will serve to get you started.
Photo: Juditu @ Morguefile
The Born and Bred (“B&B”) – B&Bs are raised in-house. They know all about supply chains, R&D and can chirrup business lingo like - well, a business person. Had they tried to join the big-city flocks, they may well have been rejected. Luckily it’s never bothered them much. Their commercial awareness is second to none, despite their 2:2 from Sheffield.
The Wannabe (“WB”) – A close cousin of the B&B. The WB’s distinguishing feature is a general lack of contentment. WBs mourns their rejection from the city, lust after the eloquent song of their private-practice cousins and toil for curiously long hours, looking on in disdain when the YP’s flit-off at five on the dot.
The Tactical Mover (“TM”) – TMs spend a proper amount of time in private-practice, honing their craft and plumping the nest for winter. They only fly to new territory on proper inspection of the site and with assurances of comfort and life-long respect firmly in place.
The Young Parent (“YP”) – YPs move in-house shortly after the birth of their first baby. Once they get over the rather shambolic nature of the new environment they adapt to it well, bringing a sense of the city to the suburban nest. High proportion of females. Their offspring attend 8am-6pm nurseries.
The Instant Convert (“IC”) – The IC is a rare breed but can be spotted on close observation of the field. ICs are raised in private-practice but feel the discomforts keenly. Fearing Stockholm Syndrome, the IC leaves the city on qualification, willing to go wherever will have them. They normally harbour secret intentions to give up the whole thing as a bad lot.
How about you - have you spotted any other breeds out in the wild?