'Don't worry, it's dark outside so no-one will spot us.'
An Allen & Overy partner* has resigned after he was filmed through a window enjoying the company of a junior colleague.
The lawyer was caught on camera in the Magic Circle firm's London office by a member of the public who was walking through Spitalfields Market.
"Are they...are they..?" asks the stunned pedestrian in the short clip, as his companion jokes, "Are you okay hon?"
'Matt Hancock? Hold my beer.'
The camera zooms in to show a younger woman embracing the older, white-haired partner, who, in broad daylight, in a glass-fronted office, which opens onto a London market, proceeds to merrily move through the bases while rubbing against her.
"Oh. My. God", remarks the cameraman, who spared audiences the worst of it by slapping a Parental Advisory sticker over the cursed footage before releasing it online. "Watch his hands, look at his hands", mutters his companion.
'If only those uptight regulatory lawyers could see me now.'
The incident occurred several months ago and has been entertaining WhatsApp groups ever since.
But the cost has been high for the partner, who was not supposed to be in the office at the time, and was definitely not supposed to be in the office breaching social distancing guidelines by fumbling at a youngster, and was absolutely not meant to do it all on Instagram.
Once news of his indiscretion reached the wider partnership, he was permitted to resign.
'Do you get the feeling we're being watched?' 'Sshhh, it's just the exercise ball.'
His ignorance of the properties of glass recalls the former Hogan Lovells solicitor who was filmed through a window looking at naughty websites, and the woman who chose to void her bowels beside a busy Norwich road by crouching behind a bush, in full view of everyone working in the Mills & Reeve office on the other side of it.
A spokesman for Allen & Overy said, "The video depicts inappropriate workplace conduct which is not in line with our Code of Conduct. The matter has been investigated and addressed in line with the firm’s internal processes”.
*Offending partner is not actually called Alan.
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