Buy yourself a job
Out of work? Desperate to land a training contract? Well, why not take a leaf out of Joe Lopatka's book and pay someone to find you a job. The Florida lawyer - most recently employed as a foreclosure attorney - has launched a "Find Joe a Job" contest and is offering $5k to the person who can land him the job of his dreams in California.
Joe has himself a website and everything. "Welcome to my site!" exclaims his home page, "Introduce me to my next employer in Southern California or San Francisco and you could win up to $5,000!* I'd like to transfer my courtroom skills to the boardroom in a new business consulting or development position.
*Please visit our contest page for rules and entry details"
That's right people, Joe's got rules. Joe will pay you 10% of his monthly after- tax salary for 6 months or a maximum of $5k. Above the Law, who reported this story, calculated that you would need to find Joe a job paying out roughly $200k in order to get your sticky mitts on the whole $5k......That might be a stretch for a foreclosure attorney even for one whose CV gloats that he is a "Highly accomplished professional with diverse experience poised to utilize solid background in business and legal practice to excel as a business consulting/development associate."
Car thief suffocated after being sat on by an overweight man
A car jacker met a rather nasty end last year after attempting to steal 17-stone Brian Machin's Mitsubishi Shogun.
According to the Telegraph, overweight Machin was confronted in his driveway by would-be thief Bernard Doherty, who demanded the keys to the Shogun, threatening Machin with the words "I'll turn you over". Presumably Machin realised he had his stature on his side and a turning over was unlikely. A scuffle ensued and Machin won out, restraining Doherty with his knee, whilst his cousin who was also present lay across the thief's legs. And there they remained until help arrived.
Unfortunately, by the time the police had arrived, Doherty was unconscious was pronounced dead at hospital, having been asphyxiated.
Machin and his cousin were both arrested for unlawful killing but the case was eventually dropped after prosecutors were unable to establish that unlawful force had been used. Mr Jones apparently told police "I said something like 'give it up son, you aren't going anywhere' and it was like he gave up".
Lawyer in citrus house paint scandal
Glamorous Skadden partner Hilary Foulkes has got himself into a bit of bother over the paint job he has chosen for his Cape Cod pad, with outraged locals branding the house as hideous.
Above the Law reports that Frankfurt based Foulkes, bought his Chatham holiday home back in 2007 for a mere $1.9 million. And it hasn't been an easy ride since then. The Foulkes' family had grand plans for renovating the historical house - but these did not go down at all well with the local residents, who successfully protested against the planned work.
There are reports that Mr Foulkes did not take too kindly to this and gathered together a group of supporters to wait outside a town board meeting and and shout names at the board members as they left. The Source can only imagine the profanities hurled.
There is some suggestion therefore - although denied by the Foulkes clan - that revenge for the residents' resistance is behind Mr Foulkes' subsequent decision to paint his house like this.....
Mmmmm, citrusy.