The other day I was reading some tedious article by Seth Rogan about how he doesn't wanna have kids and still smokes weed every day and seems to want a medal for it.

Was gonna post "Seth Rogen, the man who has been 18 for the past 25 years"

Then I looked down and realized that at the age of nearly 40 I was sat on a train with 4 cans of beer in my pocket and a novelty jumper 

Hypocrite warning ! And I with held 

Because people in glass houses shouldn't w**k with the lights on