I've got some iodine tablets. 

Apparently they can make things worse if you start them post exposure 

Dear all of the middle east

It's too hot there and you have camel spiders. Please deal with your own issues.

Thanks.

Make things worse? By extra death?

I will test them on the children, to be sure. 

Rham what are the downsides of poohing in the toilet assuming (quite reasonably) that your cistern was full

My bathroom is in the middle of my property so probably the most radioactivity protected space. And it's a good place to store drinking water.

Also if you flush you might draw radioactive water inside 

Buy the S&P. 

Run towards the radiation to get some of the neutron-ic goodness and hasten death

Duck. And cover. 

When you hear the air attack warning. 

The warning sounds like this.

We grew up in the Cold War with an unemployment minister Norman Tebbit. He did not riot. He got on his bike and looked for shelter.

Yeahhhhaaaa

If your grandmother or any other member of your family

Should  die whilst in the shelter,

Put them outside but remember to tag them  first,

For identification purposes .

Remix the world

You can buy a Barratt home for just £14 a week.

Chucking Spunky Tunes In Your Tellybox

Irish government issued surprisingly detailed advice on this in the 1960s, perhaps because instant incineration was less on the cards there.

Among other things:

Locate your stopcock now so that you can switch it off as soon as you hear the final warning.

Potatoes in the ground at time of nuclear strike can be eaten - should not be too badly affected. Do not eat green vegetables.

Discard top six inches of hay from your haystacks.

You may breed from cows that survived the strike without too much risk, but you should only use the artificial insemination scheme for the first few months.

Bring birds indoors at final warning so you can continue to eat their eggs.

You may be without public water supply for 10-14 days. Cover your roof tank to use hot water system as back up.

Have enough food in to look after household+2 random hangers on.

Do not smoke while clearing up radioactive dust.

All seems quite doable.

In the days before combi boilers

Our local is a 3 minute sprint from the house. Their beer cellar would provide decent shelter and plenty of fresh water in the form of beer. 

The Winchester?

Tuck my head between my legs and kiss my arse goodbye.

I live close to target No.2 in the UK.

Enjoy the fireworks display from the strike on London and make sure I've planted a few extra carrots and got some venison in the freezer that hasn't been exposed.

Me - try to always have 2 weeks of bottled water in the house, close the curtains and shutters, poo in a bucket. 

Sort of assumed you lived like this anyway Clergs…

Some sort of boat. 

The girl is crying in her latte - sad.

For someone who's always on about the meaningless void of despair that is existence (ain't nothing wrong with that--it's my view as well), you are awfully clingy (to life).

Well death and dying are two different things

I live in London, I would expect to die in the first wave so there's no point in planning.

Do a Nevil Shute and go down under.

I live in SW London and have resigned myself to the fact that in the event of a nuclear strike on London, my chances are pretty slim, and in any event, surviving afterwards would be shite. I often wonder whether it would just be better to stand outside. My luck would be that I do that, and then am not instantly killed, but just end up intensely sick for a while.  

Two weeks of bottled water is a lot of water.  On the basis of three adults living together I'd need 84 litres just to cover daily drinking requirements without any kind of cooking or washing.